If you look at the binding of the quilt, it is obvious that the quilt was well loved, used and laundered. No wonder the lad had to be disappointed w/the results from washing.
As for washing quilts: I do also. I use a mild soap, very short gentle cycle and double rinse. I don't think quilts should be washed in harsh detergents (Tide, etc,). If really soiled, they soak in suds for a time and gentle wash/rinse. If in doubt about "bleeding", throw in a Color Catcher. And I must add. I do not wash mine more than once a year and yes, they are used.