I think you were right to re do it on your own. When your work goes out your door everyone she knows will see it. No one will know the borders were too long. But they will know the quilting looks really bad. For me that is worth my time in removing the borders cutting down and re applying. She tried to fix it once. Obviousely she can't. So I think you did the right thing for yourself. And sometimes it is "all about you".