Oh Jan, I am so sorry your son had to go through all this.
I can relate to your DIL! My son broke his arm when he was about 6 years old. Our small town at the time did not have a hospital. I picked him up, put him in the back of my car and drove about 15 miles to my other son's Orthopedic Surgeons office. I had called to tell them I was coming. I walked into the Drs. office, put Joel on the table they indicated, and almost passed out. They had me sit down with my head between my knees. I did great during the emergency and drive. I really fell apart after I got a hold of my husband and he came to the Drs. office.