It is not typical for people to wash quilts before entering them into shows and densely quilted quilts are stiff straight off the machine. Once washed, the only thing that determines whether a quilt will be stiff or not is the batting itself. Quilts with quality high loft batting like Warm & Plush and cotton thread quickly soften up after a couple of washes even when quilted at 1/2".
For me, there's no such thing as too much quilting, only not enough. I want my quilts to last so I now always quilt no farther than 2" apart & prefer 1/2-1" spacing, but even 1/4" quilting lines I think look good when done properly. When you are quilting that close together, it's generally for one of 3 purposes -- either to add texture to the quilt (using a matching or 1 shade greyer thread) or to make the sections around it pop (faux trapunto) or to add color by using a specific color of thread (typically an art quilt). It really just depends on what look you're going for.
That said, yes there are densely quilted quilts that do not look attractive, in my opinion. By the same measure, there are also quilts with less quilting that are equally unattractive. It really just depends, for me, on the design of the quilting itself. It should not compete with the piecing or applique work.