Don't forget, she has not seen the quilt yet , and , sad but true, she might not like it.....the colors or the pattern. (when she said I like blue she was thinking powder blue and you were thinking navy blue). So I agree with Bree123,, and put in the note, "before we invest any more time or money, I wanted to get your input on the quilting design choices and let you talk to the LAQ etc........). Keep the "we", after all it is a collaboration between you, sil, niece, and LAQ. Keep it upbeat and positive. But let her call it quits at the level she wants done.
As a shout out to Michellesews, I have always taken the high road, and bent over backwards to be kind. But my relatives consider THAT a slap in the face, because they don't ever choose a high road, they think I can afford it in both money and time and talent, and they are takers, not givers. So nothing I do ever mends fences. Just smile and wave and talk nice like nothing is wrong. Because nothing is wrong with you. (So sorry for your hubbys diagnosis, I am way too familiar with ALS...it not pretty) Jane