I would have told them in the beginning that I would be happy to make the quilt if they would pay (up front) for materials. Since you already have the top made, you could send the completed top with info on who to send it to to get it completed - backing, quilting and binding. Then again, you can take the high road, complete the quilt and send it with hopes that she will enjoy the quilt. Who knows, it may open some doors that have been closed for a long time.