Oh, too funny, Patchesnposies.
Reminds me of the time when I broke my right arm in 3 places and the doctors put a hanging cast on me and told me I had to sleep sitting up in a chair for 6 weeks. Unfortunately, I broke my arm 2 weeks before the opening of my Police, Postal and Fireman's Uniform store. By the fourth week, I was positively crazy from no sleep, but the temporary help I had was doing a horrible job and not representing the store in the way I had wanted. So, into the store I go to take care of things and the first customer I talk to is an EMT (emergency medical trained) person and he asked me how to take care of the shirt he had just bought.
I explained to him that after he washed the shirt to just put it in the dryer with a "Stay-Flo Maxi Pad" instead of a "Stay Puff Drier Sheet." That was over 40 years ago and I can still remember the embarrassment I had (and I am one to turn bright red) while I stared at him with a deer-in-the-headlights look while I was trying to remember if I had used the right name. The EMT looked at me with a very kind, sympathetic face, and patted my good arm and said, "That is all right, I know what you meant." AKWARD! So much for looking professional.