Gail, you're in my prayers - I'm so sorry for your loss.
However, this is a VERY good and thought-provoking thread. While my family (especially the women) are very long-lived, none of us know what tomorrow will bring. If i were to assume that I would live as long as my grandmother and great-aunt, I'm only about half-way through my life at 55. (GM lived to 94, GA lived to 104, and the rest of that part of the family were in their late 90's as well).
DH would not know the first thing of who to turn to or ask about "distributing" my stash, tools, books, machine and long-arm. I think he would be confused enough just trying to learn to live day-to-day without me, much less figure out what to do with my "stuff". We had been talking about doing our wills, so I will definitely try to remember to include the "dispersal" of my sewing room contents as part of that.
If DH were to go first, I'd do just like another person here commented - call the auctioneer, and sell stuff.
Lots of stuff.
He has as much "other stuff" as I do "sewing stuff".
I would sell everything - all the farm equipment, livestock, extra vehicles and toys, and the farm as well, and move closer to DD and the grandbabies.
Thanks for starting this thread. While it is somewhat gloomy to consider, we should all plan for that day to help out the ones left behind.