Have you seen the YouTube video of the thimble lady quilting with a hoop? She keeps her fabric very loose and uses a long needle which she does not rock, instead she uses her underneath hand to push the loose fabric up and onto the needle.
I've never done any traditional hand quilting, But I do some decorative stitching on my art quilts both before and after they are sandwiched. So some of the stitches are only in the top and some go through all three layers. I find it's much easier to do without a hoop. If I need help managing the fabric I sometimes use a clamp and bird, or the presser foot of my sewing machine or both to help keep the fabric from getting drawn up.
Rob