Terriamn, wonderful news about BIL. So happy for your family! The thing with mom, that's the way my husband's aunt was. Crabby. She used to get upset bc the other residents wouldn't converse with her or pay her attention. But we said why not start talking to them and she told us she "couldn't be bothered" to speak to them. Sad. No wonder nobody paid her much attention. A funny story about her. she desperately needed a walker but refused to discuss it. So, hubby bought one (he was her legal guardian) and we delivered it to her room when she was out at lunch. We returned to her room with her for a visit and she saw the walker and started pitching a fit. So, we told her she'd had it for "a while". Well, ten minutes was a while. Her Alzheimer's was advanced enough that she wasn't sure if we were telling the truth. So we told her to take a spin with it in the hallway. She refused but we insisted. She walks the hallway and now is almost certain she's never used it. Hubby told her she MUST use it for her safety and she started to cry. I took over and walked up to her and said "You are a Smith and Smith's don't cry". That was practically a law in her family as a child. She stiffened her back and whimpered her way down the hallway. Within a few days, she thought she'd had it for years and she loved it, with its little basket that she could carry her purse and tissues around in. We learned to work the Alzheimer's to get her to do what was necessary and to heck with the fibs.