Originally Posted by
bearisgray
When a person asks something like "Is this noticeable?" -
Why do so many people say, "no, it isn't"?
It seems to me that if a person asks the question, it is bothering that person to some extent.
If I have my underwear on backwards - I don't think many people would be aware of it - but I would be and it would bother ME until I changed it.
It is true that many "mistakes" are not that noticeable to a casual observer - but if it bothers the maker and is a comparatively easy "fix" - why not encourage the fix more often?
When people ask "Is this noticeable", I'm honest with them. I say it isn't if I feel it isn't. If your underwear is on backwards, I might not notice, either... In the quilting situation, they aren't asking if they notice, they're asking if I do.
When we are working on a quilt, we see every stitch being formed, and look at every square inch of it in the way no other sane person will. I don't believe in encouraging people to obsess over things that won't actually matter in the long run. Now, if the flaw matters (either artistically or structurally) I will encourage them to fix it, but I think most of the time we need to forgive ourselves the small mistakes and move on.
Mamagrande makes a good point - it's usually beginners who ask this question. I think that telling them it doesn't matter helps them "calibrate" their level of concern. You have to learn to live with some things being less perfect than you want; that's part of handicrafting.
There are levels to self-criticism. I agree, we are our own severest critics, and that isn't necessarily bad. However, people (and especially women) can go way too far. I don't believe in helping people beat themselves up over things that, in the big picture, aren't important enough to warrant that level of concern.
Originally Posted by
bearisgray
And another thing -
If someone says "no one will notice" -
the original poster has just been dissed and called "a nobody"
If I say that, I mean nobody to whom it hasn't been pointed out. I feel like that's pretty common in spoken English.