Originally Posted by
madamekelly
I would like to add that when I said swat above, that is what it was, open handed, a swat on the behind. It was more to insult their dignity just enough to encourage caution. Both DDs tell people that they only got hit to "open their eyes". Pain was never the intent. I was severely beaten as a child, but never did more than swat my kids.
When I discovered that I was pregnant the first time, and expressed fear of repeating history to my OBGYN, he gave me a copy of a book called "dare to discipline" that said "punishment of any kind should always end at the first real tear". That advice kept me from repeating my history on my kids.
Good advice there! Yes, there is a difference in disciplining with love with a simple swat to get the child's attention and a spanking given out of anger or lack of self control. Before I discipline my child I always ask myself 'Am I calm enough myself to do this?' If the answer is no, I try to relax internally first, take a deep breath and then I'm ready to deliver a simple swat. But I have found most of the time a good 'look' from mama is enough! A swat is my last resort.