I know I was considered the mean mom when my kids were growing up!
I didn't think my kids deserved to have it easier or better then me or DH while they were home. They ate, so they did the cooking, they wore pricey clothes, they did the laundry, they wanted a car, they did all the housework/yardwork.
DH and I did agree they were entitled for us to pay all their college costs to give them the education and head start to take care of themselves and our grandkids without draining us of our sanity or money later on. I went to work to pay for their college costs. Best money I ever spent!