I pre-wash when I use the fabric, unless it is a pre-cut, then I wash before gifting with Synthrapol and Color Catchers.
I quit using steam a year or so ago when I saw it distorted or shrunk the fabric.
If you don't pre-shrink your batting and it is something other than polyester, won't you get the crinkly look anyway?
Personally I don't mind the crinkly look as it makes my comfort quilts appear vintage.