I think probably you're being too hard on yourself. If you show us what you've done we will be oohing and aahing and loving it.
I also think we all practice longarming in different ways. I have not done any pantographs since I bought my longarm, and I haven't used the ruler or drawn on a design. Everything is freehand. Why? Because I am not ready to follow the lines yet! I know I would be wobbling all over them. At least with freehand no one knows what I was really aiming at. LOL Seriously, I do want to learn to control the ruler and do more controlled designs, but for now I'm having fun with my own wobbly feathers, McTavishing, spirals, etc. One thing in my favor is that I have not previously sent my quilts to professional longarmers, so I'm only comparing my work to my previous work on the sewing machine, and I have to say the longarm work looks better. (I have to say it because otherwise that would be one expensive hunk of metal sitting in my family room.)