I completely understand what you are saying. And, it is difficult to say anything without seeming like an ogre. I work with several organizations and donate to several causes, but, I do not like feeling like I am being 'forced' to contribute. One of the groups I belong to has solved this with putting out a donation box. They have put up a sign with what the cause is and a suggestion of items to put in. Then anyone can donate. We actually have 2 boxes - one is for small toys for children and the other is for the shelter so it requests toiletries, socks, gloves, scarves, etc. Then no one feels that others are 'judging' them.