It depends....
Daily family meals, I expect help. I always preferred my sons helping me instead of DH. They do what I ask them to do whereas DH likes to do what he 'thinks' I want him to do. I can't really blame him or give him a hard time about it because he was never taught to help in the kitchen growing up.
Larger get-togethers like Christmas and such, I like to get the meal almost completely ready on my own before guests arrive cleaning as I go. Although I have a large eat-in kitchen, once the left-overs are put away and I've loaded the dishwasher (yes, I'm particular about how to load it), everything else is left for when everyone has gone home. Then I can de-stress by taking my time to clean up the rest. Quite honestly, with DH drying and putting things away while I wash, we're done in less than half an hour.