Janeen, my heart breaks for you because I know EXACTLY how this feels. I gave a very special quilt (an autumn leaf pattern) to a family member that I invested a ton of time, effort, money, and love into and have never seen that quilt again in all the years since that I have visited her home. I even made sure that the fabrics matched her "style" and chose all hand dyed batiks for the leaves thinking she would be proud to display the quilt somewhere in her home. Even seeing it in the guest room would have made me happy. After sending it to her, I never saw it again. For all I know she gave it away or stuck it in a closet somewhere. Now I know my aunt loves me and I adore her so the best I can figure is that since she is not a quilter, she just doesn't "get it". I've decided that all I can do is be careful to give quilts to only those that I KNOW will appreciate them because it's important to me that my quilts are loved. At the very least, your friend has your quilt on display in her home even if it's not being treated the way you or I would treat it. I think it is possible that she truly LOVES the quilt you made her even if she doesn't quite "get it" as far as caring for such a special item.