Ask yourself why do you make quilts? Is it for them to be displayed and oooh'd and awww'd over? Or do you make them for the pure enjoyment of making them? My quilts are made not with anyone in particular in mind, I make them because I enjoy seeing them come together, some are a challenge and I make them to prove to myself that I can make an intricate pattern. Every quilt I make is a learning experience.
The time and money that goes into my quilts is for my own benefit, it's not for anyone else and once it's finished, I have gotten the enjoyment from it, it came from making it. Once I give it away, it is out of my hands and the new owner can do as they wish with it, I still have the enjoyment of knowing I made it.
If I give someone a quilt as a gift, and then get upset over how they use it., doesn't that constitute having strings attached? Then it really isn't a gift is it? A baby quilt is made with thoughts of how cuddly and snuggly it will be for the baby....it doesn't enter out minds when making it that the quilt will probably be spit up on, have teething biscuits ground into it, noses wiped with it... why is it so insulting to see a quilt given to a friend used however they choose to use it? Would it be insulting to know that same quilt was on a bed and they made whoopee on it? Where do we draw the line?
I'm with Chele on lightening up, if the quilt is that special, then maybe it shouldn't be given away.
Just my two cents. :)