Originally Posted by ckcowl

It is kind of (amazing?) the changes we have all gone through this past 2 years- in ways — in my mind- I should have been crazy productive during the lock down- but … well, you know.
since my TBI happened on October 1, 2019 and I had been pretty isolated, only leaving the house for therapy and neurologist appointments- when the lockdown started in March I thought “ we’ll this isn’t going to effect me- I’ve been isolated for 6 months already “ but you know what? It was different, and it did effect me. Suddenly I couldn’t even go to therapy or appointments- everything was on line. I think it was April, maybe May when my husband asked me what was loaded up on the Longarm. I’m sure I looked at him like he had lost his mind. Nothing! I hadn’t even opened the door to my studio in 7 or 8 months- I had lost the ability to write my name- I couldn’t even think about trying to sew. He said- “ I’m worried about your well being- I want you to go in and load up some practice thing and quilt it. “
I sat around for 2 or 3 more days- thinking about that- then finally got brave enough to go in and load something up, wound bobbins, threaded, everything ready and walked away again. I think it took another week for me to finally go in and start sewing. I grabbed those handlebars, one line across the top then started to write! I couldn’t write At All with a pencil- but with the machine my penmanship was Beautiful! I wrote and wrote and wrote all over that practice quilt.I think that was a major turning point for my recovery, my life was not over- I could still quilt. Even though that was 14 months ago I’m still not productive like I was before the injury. I can sew for about an hour sometimes 2 on blocks/ projects. I can only quilt for 45 minutes to an hour before a headache starts or things start going wonky. And I don’t have a lot of motivation. I have been back to work full time for 8 months now and the people I work with have been wonderful- looking out for me and seeing progress. I want to get more done in the sewing room- I want to get that stack of quilts quilted that Ben made, I want to be creative- but something has changed. I’ve changed. I’ve thought seriously that I need to really get in gear and get the ufos finished up then sell the machine and move on- but then I wonder- would I be ok? I don’t know why this is where my mind goes… guess time will tell. I’m tired of funerals- I’m tired of angry people, I’m just plain tired and I know I’m not alone. We all hate change and when it’s so drastic and sudden….oh well- ( spilling my guts- again, is over) I don’t know why I’ve had this need to ( share) so much lately…just another phase on my journey I guess…
thanks for being here. 🤗