Oh, my. Too many of us have been there! I started having problems several years ago when my husband (who I have since lost) was getting sicker and sicker, my job was getting more and more stressful, and I just couldn't see any way out of it all. His doctor recommended someone for me to talk to, which of course at the time my attitude was 'I'm just fine. I'll suck it up and be okay. I don't need help.'
Fast forward 6 months, and I absolutely needed help. I went to see this person - she's a life coach. She saved my life. Having someone to talk to that you are not related to is a wonderful thing. She never told me what to do, but asked me a lot of really good questions that helped me get a better understanding of what was really bothering me, what I really wanted in life, and how to get there. She taught me that you can't control what life throws at you, but you can control how you react to it.
Whether or not you are clinically depressed, I sure couldn't give you a diagnosis. But coming from my experience, I know that connecting with the right person who will listen and not judge can make all the difference in the world.
Today, I still visit my life coach every couple of months - mostly because we really enjoy each other's conversation, and really can laugh together. Lord knows, I spent enough time crying in her office, it feels good to laugh now.
I wish you peace and joy. You can find it in spite of all the downs that life can sometimes bring. Sending white light your way!