thank you all for the support and kind words. I read them all and looked for my "Magic answer." I know there isn't one but I will work towards "close enough".
here's my progress: figuring on the 15 min. rule- what can I get done in 15 min. that would make me feel better?
So..... I went to the post office and mailed 3 packages out- one to a newbie here that weighed 12 lbs. (that felt good- I can't what 'til she opens it!), one to my Son in law who was just deployed to Afghanistan (this weighs heavy on my heart as all our service people) and one to my dd in Vegas. Just some cupcakes to her that are from here and some decorative hangar thingys I was going to paint and craft in a sports theme. She can do them- I don't have time. I used fat quarters for packing material so I know she will enjoy opening it. It felt great!!!
I have 3 more to go on Monday but they are for UPS, one is 20 lbs. to the same daughter- just a collection of Christmas gifts people left here for her (how did I get to be the drop place???) and some little things I picked up for Noah. 1 is a quilt top and backing to go be quilted and another to a quilter in need of some "stuff". That's my 15 min. for Monday.
Right now the washer is on load #5 of 6. I love to do laundry and hang my clothes up immediately after they are done, but dh and ds leave theirs laying around- don't get me started on that! I hear the central vac running- ds is doing the downstairs. He helped me take a leaf out of the table and put 6 chairs around it so it looks so much nicer.
The iron is heating up- I got the brilliant idea to cut strips for a swap (not due until April) and needed some prewashed. So I took 28 fabrics- took off a chunk of 10" and threw them in the wash with a load of towels. I now have a nice pile of ironing- not too smart Barb. :( But I like the smell of dryer sheets as I iron. :)
The dogs will get bathed when ds finishes the floor. He said he will help me. The pug needs to be cuddled after and he has to hold the beagle. I saved cleaning his bathroom until after the beagle bath (actually I stand over him and crab until he cleans it).
I organized the formal living room- I have 2 boxes and 1 big black garbage bag filled with blankets to be dropped at Salvation Army tomorrow afternoon. There's a lot more to do there, but I did take the 2 boxes of decorations downstairs. Whatever possessed my other son to clean the basement and put the bags there- grrr- double duty. Once I get these out I want to wash the curtains and shampoo the carpet (even though no one goes in there it gets dusty). Then I will feel better.
Oh- the one room where I always keep clean was even messy so I folded up the pack-n-play since we will not have little people here until June. I straightened the pillows on the bed since that's what I use for a "design wall" and I'm going to dust and vacuum there and spot shampoo 2 spots on the carpet.It took me 10 min. to clean up in there, and I feel better!
bottom line- yes, I still feel a bit depressed- but I'm looking at the things that can make me depressed as things outside my circle of control- the mortgage/real estate/ title industry for one. I've worked through bad times and I will continue to work through them. I can control my clutter and kind of "go with the flow" with the family issues until I can find something that will allow my heartache to ease.
I'm getting better, not 100% but better.