Bwaa haa haa!!! ok that made me laugh out loud.
I've purchased Spoonflower in the past but it has been several years. Maybe even 10. It was a gift for a friend - I took some drawings and doodles she made, had them printed, sent it to her. I think she framed and hung it, instead of using it in a quilt.
May I suggest you purchase a FQ and wash the Tabasco out of it for a couple of months, see how it fares?