Here's a strange solution to your strange idea! I got a roll of this textured window film for the sidelight next to my door. Price is reasonable, quality/vinyl good -- and it is just a cling so reposition-able. How well it would cling to your table is an unknown but you could find out if some texture is really what you want.
https://www.amazon.com/LEMON-CLOUD-D.../dp/B06XT1JQDK