I am so sorry about all your hard work,and it not turning out the way it should of. i would be heartbroken too.
i have never pre-washed batting and never will. i use Warm and natural 98 % of the time. I think alot of people that don't care for it, don't like the "drape" of it.
i happen to like my quilts, come out of the dryer "old looking". They only stay in the dryer for 10 to 15 minutes,then i air dry them the rest of the way.
i only prewash fabric about 5% of the time..Batiks,and solid colors,and flannels. that is all.
I would still give the quilt to the person it was intended for. the only way i can see to make it look less wonky on the ends, is to remove the binding and square it up again,then put the binding back on.