Originally Posted by Gwyn
Originally Posted by Up North
Aww Gwyn Thank you so much for taking the time right now to inform people what to do when this happens. It is a hard subject to talk about. My parents and I have been talking a little about it and I know where most things are. My Dad even has the songs he wants written down (and the jokes he wants told at his funeral!) and I know where they are. I need to ask more questions. Those are hard to ask but something that does need to be done, sooner rather than later. They have a will written up. We do too. Take care Gwyn. (((HUGS)))
The hardest questions aren't about the funeral. What do you want me to say when they say 'ventilator', more chemo, do you want to be resusitated? How many heroics do you want to endure in an effort to keep you alive longer? If you have a choice, do you want to die at home or in the hospital with just minimal care? The fact is, it is easier to let them die, than to pull the plug later, but you need to know what they want to have happen. The earlier you start to talk to your children, the more likely they will understand your wishes and respect them. Gwyn
When my grandmother passed away from cancer (lung, liver, cirrhosis of the liver, emphysema, and I think something else, I don't remember...) we felt horrible. She died on Christmas Eve. Her brother flew out the Christmas day after finding out his sister had passed and my aunt in Arkansas came up right away... my other two aunts and my uncle sent flowers.
At her funeral service the minister asked us to tell stories about my grandmother that were funny, and some of us did. The night after the funeral was New Years and we weren't sure if we should celebrate or not. Then my mom, grandfather and great uncle said, lets celebrate it's what she would have wanted.
My mom also told us that my grandma wouldn't have wanted to be mourned that her life should be celebrated.
Celebrate his life, but also grief for his loss. Don't let anyone tell you to get over it they have no right to... and if they do, just let what they say roll off your back.
Also, when you are at the luncheon after the funeral (providing that is something your family does) if your best friend says something about Big Ben, do not laugh, you will only get your soup all over yourself (I did that!)
Also, do not trip over thin air in the parking lot at said luncheon and then roll and hit a parked car... it is not fun... nor funny... and if you do make sure your best friend is not there... they will not let you live it down... (I did this too... it was quite funny actually...)
Sorry, just trying to make you smile...
*hugs*