I feel tying a quilt is a quick and easy way to finish layering a quilt - and yes, it stays softer than quilting it. I use either a light weight yarn or embroidery floss thread in a matching color to the fabric - either background color or main block color - I also like using a curved needle verses a straight needle - but whatever works easier for you. How close - depends on the pattern of the block AND on the reccomendations of the batting. Some say 3-4" apart, some say up to 8" or more - check the batting pkg, it should say on there somewhere. I also use a surgeons knot or a square knot or a granny knot (do a google search on tuts for these kinds of knots) - depends on the weight of thread - so you don't get a huge lump on the top of the knot. I go down-up-down-up and then tie. The second set of down-up is NOT in the same holes as the first set of down-up, but very close to it - so as to not get the thread tangled in the same holes. Any other quesstions, just ask - I might be able to help more, or somebody else might have better ideas/suggestions than I do! Good luck - post a pic when done - we'd all love to see it!