Oh Gwyn I am so sorry for your loss and that you are having a hard time. The only thing I can suggest is that you take things one day at a time. It may not be easy right now but you will gain your ability to live again. It's not easy to lose a loved one but as time goes by it will get better. Sometimes you just have to pull yourself up by your boot straps and get moving. It has been 20 plus years sense my Grandpa died and I still cry over him. Just don't lose those memories.
I do hope you get to feeling better.
Carrie