Gwyn, you need to give yourself time, McQuilter and Amandasgramma have some excellent advice. Unless it is imperative, do not make any life-changing or major financial decisions until you are ready, most grief counsellors say wait at least 12 months after the bereavement. Remember to take care of yourself, eat regular, healthy meals and try to get out of the house for at least 30 mins each day, even if it's just a walk around the block. If you feel very overwhelmed, please seek medical help. I am sorry you are feeling so unhappy and send you lots of love, light and peace from the land of Aus.