oh Gwen, our hearts are with you! back in 1986 i lost a daughter...i did not think i would ever get over it...
and i believe you never do really (get over it) you simply 'live-on'...
and it does get easier,
with time.
as long as the memories can still make you smile, give your heart a little tug but it be a warm loving tug...
one thing that helped me in the beginning was journaling...everyday...for a long time i started the day (after the other kids left for school) i would write a 'letter to Kelly'...(as if she were away at camp) i would share our previous day, what the kids had done, what i had done, how we were feeling..what ever...i kept the journaling going for a couple years. the two older kids and myself also put together what we call our treasure boxes...we each have our own special box with the treasures that meant the most to each of us...my oldest daughter put in a favorite blanket, hat, toys and pictures...we each picked out a few things...and all these years later our treasure boxes live on a closet shelf, and once in a while i will take mine down and spend a little time (wandering) through the moments.......
dive into an activity you really enjoy (quilt something) and a couple hours will pass that were (easier)...as time goes by it will get easier...
remember there are alot of us here who care, feel for you and will happily be a BIG SHOULDER when ever you need one
don't isolate yourself, keep in touch with everyone you did before...