Dear Gwyn,
I'm so very sorry! I don't think I qualify as wise... but... do stay connected with people. It's almost always more nourishing to your soul, to be with other people, rather than to be alone, no matter what your sorrow is.
If it were someone else that you were watching, grieving the loss of life's partner, you would know that emotions would be all over the place for a long time, and that the healing process does happen, though not steadily. So be as gentle and patient with yourself, as you would with others.
My Dad has been gone for ten years now. I'll share the advice that I've heard my Mom give to women that are just starting out on the road she's been walking: that the first year is the hardest, going through all the holidays the first time without him. And even after that, the grief will still overtake her unexpectedly. Just let it be. Tears are healing too.
When the time is right, try to remember the small things that have always given you pleasure, whether it's a warm bath on a cold night, or watching the steam rise from a hot cup of coffee, seeing the clouds race across the sky on a windy day or watching a wildflower bloom. Just little things. It's okay to start small.