I am very sadden to hear of the passing of your precious mom. What a horrible thing to have happened and then not know it. I realize there are no consoling words at this point, but I can tell you in all honesty, that one day in the future, you will still feel the loss of the passing, but it will become more gentle as time passes. As for your grieving, let your body and you heart take as much time as it needs, there is no stop and go with this. I know and it's been 21 years on April 27 since my mom passed. And I miss her dearly. Please, take care of yourself first, I know it's hard when your are need for family things, but your family still needs you.
With Blessings, Blue