I would never say that I'm raising my gd, but I play a HUGE role in her life (and so does her papa). Her mom, my daughter, and her dad are fabulous parents. My gd was born w/spina bifida and has some special needs. I am her care giver Monday through Friday while Mommy & Daddy are at work (usually a 10hr day, since she was 3mos old).
I am so grateful that I was able to retire very young so that I can be here to help. GD just turned three years old and you should see how hard this child works to do transfers from her wheel chair on to a couch and back. Or what it takes for her to climb up a short set of stairs, or what she has to do to attempt to take off/put on a pair of pants. In my eyes this child is absolutely remarkable and I feel blessed to have this time with her. As much as it's harder to do everything with her, I have never enjoyed a child so much or felt loved so much!
I know our situations are different than what I've seen posted so far. As terrible as some of the circumstances are, you all are blessed w/the opportunity to mold a young spirit and enhance their lives, not to mention all the love you'll get in return.
Sea your situation is a fragile one... Perhaps family counseling can help? I just hope your dd is mature enough to stand back & understand that her choices have lead to this. She has to be woman enough & have enough love in her heart to let you continue to be her children's mother and allow the kids all the time they need to trust in her so that they'll give her their love.
It may not be fair for grand parents to be raising their grand children (for what ever the circumstances are that lead to it), but I thank God you all ARE there for them! God bless you!