Welcome to the Quilting Board!

Already a member? Login above
loginabove
OR
To post questions, help other quilters and reduce advertising (like the one on your left), join our quilting community. It's free!

Results 1 to 20 of 20

Thread: Banned from Target

  1. #1
    Super Member butterflywing's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    currently central new jersey
    Posts
    8,700
    After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.
    Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women -
    - she loved to browse.

    Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.

    Dear Mrs. Samsel,
    Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

    3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom..

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

    6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

    8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

    9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

    10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

    11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

    12.. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

    13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

    14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

    And last, but not least:

    15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'



  2. #2
    Senior Member Rose Hall's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Lynchburg, VA
    Posts
    758
    OMG, my assistant is getting ready to retire (her husband retired in March) and this reminded me of them.

    too funny, too funny...

    Rose Hall


  3. #3
    Power Poster
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    MN
    Posts
    20,103
    !!!

    My son works at a Target Warehouse, and he said someone actually did take/do a dump on the floor. EEEEWWW

  4. #4
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Out searching for some sunshine :-)
    Posts
    59,088
    Blog Entries
    1
    :lol: :lol: :roll: :roll: :lol: :lol:

  5. #5
    Super Member Ducky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    8,969
    Oh, how funny! Don't know why, but the M&M's on lay-away made me laugh out loud! Very good :D

  6. #6
    Super Member henryparrish76's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    3,581
    Blog Entries
    2
    My faves are number 1,8,14

    Number 8 cause sometimes the associates in retail shopping centers dont know when to leave you alone and they ask if they can help you find something every 5 minutes. One time is enough. If I need help trust me Ill let you know.

  7. #7
    Senior Member DebJ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    TN originally now in MS
    Posts
    429
    Ususally the problem of help is just the opposite, when you want someone you can't find help anywhere. Have even considered stopping dead still & yelling to see what would happen. Haven't given in to the temptation though. :lol:

  8. #8
    Power Poster SulaBug's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Somewhere in SANTA Land.
    Posts
    10,134
    Blog Entries
    1
    Way to funny!!
    :D :D :D :D

  9. #9
    Power Poster Ninnie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Athens Ga
    Posts
    11,448
    Oh my BW, don't have a favorite, started laughing with the condoms and still haven't stopped!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:



    Ninnie

  10. #10
    Power Poster MadQuilter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    ELVERTA, CA
    Posts
    15,477
    Blog Entries
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by butterflywing
    15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'
    A delivery driver of my acquaintance had to use the restroom at one of his stops. He found the room and took care of business. Only when he tried to flush did he realize that he was in a display set. He was too embarrassed to say anything and slunk out the building. Not fast enough when he heard someone scream: "Who was the pig that took a sh** in the display??????"

  11. #11
    Super Member butterflywing's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    currently central new jersey
    Posts
    8,700
    when my sister worked at j.c.penney it was not at all unusual for her to find, in the try-on rooms, dirty diapers (all sizes), piles of you-know-what in the corners, pee on the carpeting.

  12. #12
    Senior Member genghis khan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    520
    That is awsome! ill have to remember this lol

  13. #13
    Super Member MollieSue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    MI
    Posts
    2,555
    Blog Entries
    1
    Too funny!!!!!!!!!! #13 especially had me totally laughing!!!!!!!!! :D :D

    And I'm always going to think about ick from now on when I go in to try on clothes! lol!!!!!!!!!!!!! :shock:

  14. #14
    Moderator littlehud's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    SW Iowa
    Posts
    32,957
    So funny. Thanks for sharing. :D :D

  15. #15
    Power Poster Mousie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    17,157
    Quote Originally Posted by bearisgray
    !!!

    My son works at a Target Warehouse, and he said someone actually did take/do a dump on the floor. EEEEWWW
    My daughter used to run the fitting room at wal-mart, and, yup...she said the same thing!!! :shock:

  16. #16
    Senior Member QuiltinLee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Pittsburgh, PA
    Posts
    536
    OMG!! Thanks for the laughs. I'm still wiping the tears away! Just what I needed to brighten a nasty day. Thanks again!

  17. #17
    Super Member Celeste's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    N. Ca
    Posts
    4,507
    Blog Entries
    32
    :lol:

  18. #18
    k3n
    k3n is offline
    Power Poster k3n's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Somerset, England
    Posts
    10,712
    Blog Entries
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by Ninnie
    Oh my BW, don't have a favorite, started laughing with the condoms and still haven't stopped!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:



    Ninnie
    Me too! :lol: :lol: :lol:

    K x

  19. #19
    Super Member butterflywing's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    currently central new jersey
    Posts
    8,700
    anyone who starts laughing with the condoms might stop laughing without the condoms. LOL!

  20. #20
    Power Poster nativetexan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    home again, after 27 yrs!
    Posts
    16,249
    Blog Entries
    2
    No wonder they have guards inside the Target entrances. hmmm. :mrgreen:

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

SEO by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.