Cat Commandments
02-18-2011, 01:47 PM
#1
Super Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Possum Trot, KY
Posts: 3,843
>^''^< Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard
when thy human is on the puter.
>^''^< Thou shalt not pull the phone cord
out of the back of the modem.
>^"^< Thou shalt not unroll all of
the toilet paper off the roll.
>^"^< Fast as thou art, thou cannot
run through closed doors.
>^''^< Thou shalt not projectile vomit from
the top of the refrigerator.
>^"^< Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or
act as thou art not transparent.
>^"^< Thou shalt not push open the bathroom
door when there are guests in the house.
>^"^< Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party
and commence licking thy butt.
>^"^< Thou shalt not lie down with thy
butt in thy human's face.
>^"^< Thou shalt not leap from great heights
onto thy human's lap region.
>^"^< Thou shalt not re-set thy human's
alarm clock by walking on it.
>^"^< Thou shalt not climb on the trash can with the
hinged lid, as thou wilt fall in and trap thy self.
>^"^< Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet seat
just as thy human is sitting down.
>^"^< Thou shalt not jump onto thy
sleeping human's bladder at 3 a.m.
>^"^< Thou shalt realize that the house is not
a prison from which to escape
at every opportunity.
>^"^< Thou shalt not trip thy human even
if they walketh too slowly.
>^"^< Thou shalt remember that thou are a
carnivore and that houseplants are not meat.
>^"^< Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded.
Think your fur baby will abide by these?
When it snows in h..... maybe... but hey it was worth a shot
when thy human is on the puter.
>^''^< Thou shalt not pull the phone cord
out of the back of the modem.
>^"^< Thou shalt not unroll all of
the toilet paper off the roll.
>^"^< Fast as thou art, thou cannot
run through closed doors.
>^''^< Thou shalt not projectile vomit from
the top of the refrigerator.
>^"^< Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or
act as thou art not transparent.
>^"^< Thou shalt not push open the bathroom
door when there are guests in the house.
>^"^< Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party
and commence licking thy butt.
>^"^< Thou shalt not lie down with thy
butt in thy human's face.
>^"^< Thou shalt not leap from great heights
onto thy human's lap region.
>^"^< Thou shalt not re-set thy human's
alarm clock by walking on it.
>^"^< Thou shalt not climb on the trash can with the
hinged lid, as thou wilt fall in and trap thy self.
>^"^< Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet seat
just as thy human is sitting down.
>^"^< Thou shalt not jump onto thy
sleeping human's bladder at 3 a.m.
>^"^< Thou shalt realize that the house is not
a prison from which to escape
at every opportunity.
>^"^< Thou shalt not trip thy human even
if they walketh too slowly.
>^"^< Thou shalt remember that thou are a
carnivore and that houseplants are not meat.
>^"^< Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded.
Think your fur baby will abide by these?
When it snows in h..... maybe... but hey it was worth a shot
02-18-2011, 02:15 PM
#6
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: New York State, but I will always be Canadian!
Posts: 933
I think all cats read those as "thou SHALT..." In fact, my cat thinks they are all cardinal rules for cat-dom! Especially "Thou SHALT try to trip thy human at all opportunities, especially when thine human is in a hurry!"
02-19-2011, 12:19 AM
#9
Super Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Merced, CA
Posts: 4,188
To this you can add....Thou shall not, ever, jump into your human's dropped drawers when s/he is on the john. Thou shall not use claws on anything in that area.
Don't ask me how I know this.
I remember hearing DH scream in the bathroom and Zabo, the black demon half Siamese running low and fast through the door to get out of the firing zone!!
Don't ask me how I know this.
I remember hearing DH scream in the bathroom and Zabo, the black demon half Siamese running low and fast through the door to get out of the firing zone!!
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