Curtain Rods...priceless!!!
09-07-2011, 09:14 AM
#91
Junior Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Wyoming
Posts: 136
This is the response I got from an attorney cousin in NM, I was giggling just as hard reading this one too.
This 'curtain rod' story is a real hoot! I loved it. Why is revenge so sweet? Are we all sickos? Will we never heed Christ who said "vengeance is mine"?
But I know of a very stinky, real story that goes like this: About 20 years ago, in Las Vegas, NM, a guy I know named Ortega went to the bank, his bank, applied for and was denied a loan. To get back at the bank, i.e. for vengeance, Ortega slipped frozen trout into his safety deposit box. The odor was so mild at first that those perceiving it were told they were loony. Then it got worse, and worse, and worse, eventually reaching a point nobody could stand. People got sick. Theories (of the conspiracy sort too) abounded as to the source of the now incredible, intolerable stench. (I think outer space aliens were blamed along the way). Various environmental agencies from every level of Gov't/s came in with their HI-TECH detectors, operated by masked technicians in white coveralls. Despite all the science applied to the case, the stench remained a mystery, but not forever. Meantime the bank had to close the stench-filled main office and operate out of a branch in another part of town. The whole town was abuzz; the unbelieving and the curious would go to the building to sniff and verify; the stench was very real indeed.
Eventually, the stinky safety deposit was located and the culprit revealed. I got the story from Ortega himself who laughed his ass off as he related it. Later I talked to the bank's attorney, also a friend, who told me she confronted Ortega and chewed his ass something horrible calling him a "sick SOB", etc. Later on Ortega told me how he enjoyed the ass chewing he got from the bank's lawyer, saying it was actually funny.
After this Ortega was on Law Enforcement's "shit list". Later he was charged with the narcotics crime of trafficking either cocaine or heroin. Allegedly he was one of the biggest pushers in the area. Of course, there was zero evidence and the charges had to be dismissed. I represented him early in the case. Then another lawyer took over. For the Grand Jury Hearing, (I read the transcripts) a certain cop testified that Ortega had an underground bunker containing large amounts of contraband. The Grand Jury convened in either December or January. Because it was mid-winter, said the Cop, everything, at the time, was frozen over and the ice shielding the bunker was too much to penetrate and that the bunker could not be entered until after the Spring thaw. (Who could really believe this shit?) Of course, no bunker was ever found. Nor were any drugs ever found. Ortega continued to live as the man of modest means he'd always been. There was nothing in Ortega's life style indicating he's other than the modest means guy he'd always been. He drives clunkers, lives in rented places and dresses sorta "bum like". His lawyer representations were always through the Public Defender, meaning free because he qualified under the income guidelines. Why would a guy like Ortega, if he was such a wealthy pusher, with a frozen underground bunker making Superman's "fortress of solitude" look like child's play, be applying for a loan? But then again, he did have a safety deposit box. Maybe, to some, having a safety deposit is conclusive evidence of massive wealth. Wow!
Whose story is better? Mine or yours. Yours sounds better but mine is true, at least the parts that are not lies. So the stories should be judged as equally entertaining.
This 'curtain rod' story is a real hoot! I loved it. Why is revenge so sweet? Are we all sickos? Will we never heed Christ who said "vengeance is mine"?
But I know of a very stinky, real story that goes like this: About 20 years ago, in Las Vegas, NM, a guy I know named Ortega went to the bank, his bank, applied for and was denied a loan. To get back at the bank, i.e. for vengeance, Ortega slipped frozen trout into his safety deposit box. The odor was so mild at first that those perceiving it were told they were loony. Then it got worse, and worse, and worse, eventually reaching a point nobody could stand. People got sick. Theories (of the conspiracy sort too) abounded as to the source of the now incredible, intolerable stench. (I think outer space aliens were blamed along the way). Various environmental agencies from every level of Gov't/s came in with their HI-TECH detectors, operated by masked technicians in white coveralls. Despite all the science applied to the case, the stench remained a mystery, but not forever. Meantime the bank had to close the stench-filled main office and operate out of a branch in another part of town. The whole town was abuzz; the unbelieving and the curious would go to the building to sniff and verify; the stench was very real indeed.
Eventually, the stinky safety deposit was located and the culprit revealed. I got the story from Ortega himself who laughed his ass off as he related it. Later I talked to the bank's attorney, also a friend, who told me she confronted Ortega and chewed his ass something horrible calling him a "sick SOB", etc. Later on Ortega told me how he enjoyed the ass chewing he got from the bank's lawyer, saying it was actually funny.
After this Ortega was on Law Enforcement's "shit list". Later he was charged with the narcotics crime of trafficking either cocaine or heroin. Allegedly he was one of the biggest pushers in the area. Of course, there was zero evidence and the charges had to be dismissed. I represented him early in the case. Then another lawyer took over. For the Grand Jury Hearing, (I read the transcripts) a certain cop testified that Ortega had an underground bunker containing large amounts of contraband. The Grand Jury convened in either December or January. Because it was mid-winter, said the Cop, everything, at the time, was frozen over and the ice shielding the bunker was too much to penetrate and that the bunker could not be entered until after the Spring thaw. (Who could really believe this shit?) Of course, no bunker was ever found. Nor were any drugs ever found. Ortega continued to live as the man of modest means he'd always been. There was nothing in Ortega's life style indicating he's other than the modest means guy he'd always been. He drives clunkers, lives in rented places and dresses sorta "bum like". His lawyer representations were always through the Public Defender, meaning free because he qualified under the income guidelines. Why would a guy like Ortega, if he was such a wealthy pusher, with a frozen underground bunker making Superman's "fortress of solitude" look like child's play, be applying for a loan? But then again, he did have a safety deposit box. Maybe, to some, having a safety deposit is conclusive evidence of massive wealth. Wow!
Whose story is better? Mine or yours. Yours sounds better but mine is true, at least the parts that are not lies. So the stories should be judged as equally entertaining.
09-07-2011, 03:00 PM
#96
Super Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Southern IL
Posts: 1,265
My cousin actually did something like this! Put a potatoe down in the couch cushions & something in the curtain rods! They were only separated & every time she'd go over she would say "Don't you ever take your trash out?"
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
