Emjay

Dream on, Kiddo. I am 69 and still try to make myself believe I am only 35.

So sorry about your rough times. Been there, done it.
Believe me

Things seem to be getting a bit better now. But it took a bit of work, awareness, reading, growth, friends.

Found a book by Napoleon Hill "The Magic of Being (or Thinking) Rich". The library will have it. Let me know when something good comes your way. I can share with you some of my "tools" if you like.

bstanbro

I'm sorry to those of you who have survived a loved one's suicide. I can tell you, however, that sometimes the person does not make a rational choice. A person can become so depressed that they become psychotic, and then they do not make a choice--the illness makes the choice for them.

weezie

MN QUILTER: I thank you for your sensitive and sensible response. It really was not you who opened the can of worms; I take full responsibility!

I've heard and read the statement about God not giving us more than we can handle many, many times over the years, but this is the first time I've "voiced" my skepticism. Sorry about that!

My opinion is that everything is "grey"; there is no "black and white", ergo, there are no clear-cut blanket statements that cover all people and all situations. There are as many variables to consider as there are people.

I'd be happy to drop this subject entirely.

Barbm

oh- I did the "normal"reaction to my brother's suicide. I re-evaluated my life- quit a huge paying job (close to the 6 figure range) to start my own business- without a plan. Went through 3 years of not going anywhere with my spouse because I was afraid of both of us dying at the same time. Still a bit hesitant about going together, but I deal with it. (And I have a will so my family can't fight over assets that aren't there)

Totally became the "real" me. Could care less about the jewelry, clothes, new car, etc. And I learned I really didn't need all of it. Now, if I could only find a cure for this fabric purchasing addiction I acquired since finding this board. :)

weezie

Here I go again -- this is the troublemaker speaking:

For what it's worth (probably zip), I feel great sadness for what many of you have gone through and/or are going through. Much of my life has been sort of a "soap opera", with tragedies, but none such as many of you have experienced. I cannot imagine and do not want to experience the pain of losing a child (my "children" are in their 30's and 40's).

Someone in this thread (I don't know who and would not say if I did know) opined that someone who has not suffered greatly lacks a depth of feeling or sensitivity for others. (That is not a direct quote, but that was the gist of what she said). This troublemaker disagrees entirely with that. Kindness and genuine consideration are not traits that have to be earned by personal hardship. Some of the finest, kindest people I know have led pleasant, fairly uneventful lives.

MNQuilter

Weezie- I have no problem with people voicing skepticism. I think this is how people's thinking is able to open up and accept that other people think differently. For me, the key is being able to voice WHY you think the way you do. Whether that is through experience, faith or something else.

I totally agree that there is no blanket statements and what one person can handle is not the same as another person.

I also agree that the more awareness there is about a subject the better off people are. Lack of awareness, such as that about suicide, leads to people making their own conclusions, which are not always based in fact, but in feeling instead. I also agree that actions like suicide are not usually rational, that they are making a decision based on the illness they are suffering from, which is in many ways a "sick" brain.

2wheelwoman

MNQ, I completely agree with your assessment that acts like suicide are not rational and come from the illness which is dominate at the time. As a pre-suicidal woman (with a well thought out and supplied plan), I knew with complete clarity that suicide was not only the best option to end my own pain, but the kindest thing to do for my DH who'd spent a long time on this struggle with me. I fortunately had a therapist who recognized that I was thanking her as if I wasn't coming back, and she stepped in and things got handled and I haven't been down that road since. I am, however, much more aware of how easy it is to go down that path - not kicking and screaming - but sincerely feeling that it's the best choice. So, yes, there is choice, but it is fueled by incorrect information about ourselves and the environment surrounding us. That easy road out will always have a pull in me, but I'm learning all the time how to avoid it. Now that I'm more aware, I recognize when I get close to it and can solicit extra help to stay away.

MNQuilter

2wheelwoman- I admire your strength and and willingness to ask for help. I have suffered fromdepression but thankfully not to the point you have been at. I know that the depression is just as difficult for the people who love the sufferers. We are all glad to have you here sharing the love of quilting with all of us! {{{hugs}}}

redquilter

Life is a book and just when you finish one chapter and think you have the story line figured out - there is a new surprise in the next chapter. Can be daunting at times, but we just have to hang in there and take one day at a time. Best wishes to everyone feeling life's pressures and a happy and healthy New Year to all.

Bill'sBonBon

Yep been there still doing it.
House wife at 17 yrs. Mother at 19 and 20. loved working out side so I got a job at a flower farm at Stuart Fl. moved back to home town, childcare for Mothers working outside the home for several yrs. Found out I had the talent for dog grooming started that in 1973 at my home had a special bonus room with outside door. Still at home. Had a sever house fire 1975. Had to stop dog grooming overhead other than home was to much. Got me a job as a Vet.Tech at PalmBeach Co. Animal Control and on call Road officer for Emerg. at night sometimes in the worst parts of the towns our district was in. LONELY,SCARY Dark. sometimes back to back,Sherifff office called you had to go. sometimes I came in just in time to graba a cup of coffee and go to work at 7:00am. 4 and 1/2 yrs. Then Husband had first wreck, nurse,caregiver,wife,3neck surg. caregiver for yrs. Still Groomed Dogs. Got me a job as a Paraprofessional I loved kids. So I was a Teacher never stopped the dog grooming. Went to work at school at 7:15 am until 2:00pm Went to A Vets office in a town close to where I lived groomed until whenever. Sometimes my days were from 12 to 14 hrs long. DH was improving, got into another wreck,neither of these was his fault. Back surg.3 lazer ones and then finally one with metal and screws. nurse again. Mother came into the pic. when stepfather died. Took care of her but she didn't live with me until 5 yrs. ago. Now I am a caregiver for basically 2 people. It is hard,this yr. was the hardest at the end of coping power. Got me some meds to help. I have been housewife,still am, caregive,still am,Mother still am,Grndmother,still am. Had my own Dog Grooming buisness, not anymore,Worked as an animal officer mostly the medical side. Quit couldn't handle the Death of perfectly nice animals....Paraprofesssional for 15 yrs. Groomed dogs at the vets office for 10 of those 15 yrs.
Now back to houswife,caregiver. I pray that is it. But like you said Life is a school, it teaches and you learn. I get the self pity thing to and then I talk to people like RHONDA on this board and see I don't have it near as difficult as she does. It is just life. My opinion BillsBonBon