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Thread: Fall Classes for Women -- This is supposed to be funny.

  1. #1
    Super Member KathyAire's Avatar
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    My husband sent this to me. I fail to see the humor. I'm fixing to go downstairs and kill him, now.



    Fall Classes for Women at
    THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

    REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
    By Sat., October 16th, 2010

    NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
    OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

    Class 1
    Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
    Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
    Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM..

    Class 2
    Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
    Round Table Discussion.
    Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

    Class 3
    Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.
    Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 4
    Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
    Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

    Class 5
    Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
    Examples on Video.
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
    At 7:00 PM

    Class 6
    How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
    Help Line Support and Support Groups.
    Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

    Class 7
    Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
    Open Forum.
    Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

    Class 8
    Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!
    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 9
    I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

    Class 10
    How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
    Driving Simulations.
    4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

    Class 11
    Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield .
    Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

    Class 12
    How to Shop by Yourself.
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

    Upon completion of ANY of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

    Send this to all your guy friends for the best chuckle of their day...
    And to all your gal friends who have a sense of humor!
    :roll: :roll: :roll:

  2. #2
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
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    I guess I would call that tit for tat! I have put a lot of jokes on here about the stupid things men do! :-D

  3. #3
    Super Member dakotamaid's Avatar
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    You have to look at it from his point of view!! These are things they think are frustrating about us ladies and we have our list of what is frustrating about our men. LOL, both sexes have VAST differences. Have you ever read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus? Great read.

  4. #4
    T-Bones mom's Avatar
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    You have got to admit we all fit into a couple of those catagories. I fit into more than one. I will admit it here but never to my husband. LOL

  5. #5
    Super Member Teacup's Avatar
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    OK, I'll admit I could qualify for two of the classes...I won't say which! And I could create a list of 12 classes for men pretty easily!

  6. #6
    Super Member maine ladybug's Avatar
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    And your husband is still alive?

  7. #7
    Power Poster cjomomma's Avatar
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    I will admit I fit into a couple of those catagories. LOL. Nothing wrong with the men getting back at us women.

  8. #8
    Community Manager PatriceJ's Avatar
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    i can see i'm going to be very busy for a while.

    can somebody please help me lift my purse so i can head to walmart in search of that self-levitating curling iron?

    :mrgreen:

  9. #9
    Mimito2's Avatar
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    I came up with an easy fix for the toilet seat. I put both lids down. He sure got my "point" when he plopped down in the middle of the night in the dark. lol

  10. #10
    DJ
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    Super Member DJ's Avatar
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    I think we could start our own classes . . . beginning with . . .

    How to release the TV remote control! [includes exercises for the hand to increase the flexibility needed for this task]

  11. #11
    Community Manager PatriceJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ
    How to release the TV remote control!
    this course has a prerequisite: Find the Stinkin' Remote Yourself 101

  12. #12
    Power Poster sueisallaboutquilts's Avatar
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    Oh Kathy, that one got better and better!!! hahahaha
    Love it- off to send to everyone I know lol

  13. #13
    Senior Member stitchingmemories's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PatriceJ
    i can see i'm going to be very busy for a while.

    can somebody please help me lift my purse so i can head to walmart in search of that self-levitating curling iron?

    :mrgreen:
    :lol: :thumbup: :wink:

  14. #14
    Super Member raptureready's Avatar
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    Could you smack him once for me too?

  15. #15
    Super Member ptquilts's Avatar
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    that was funny! DH and I have solved the toilet lid problem - people who want it up put it up, and people who want it down, put it down.

  16. #16
    Super Member ptquilts's Avatar
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    I want an adjunct to Class 4

    How much smaller could your purse be if you weren't carrying around all the junk your husband does not want to carry himself.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by ptquilts
    that was funny! DH and I have solved the toilet lid problem - people who want it up put it up, and people who want it down, put it down.
    Works for us -

    This is actually a parody of the "Classes for Men" that was going around -

    Some battles just aren't worth fighting - which way to put the toilet paper - I'm just glad there is some within reach when needed!

    I just check to see which way the toilet seat is - as long as it's clean and dry - I'm okay with it - and put it the way I want/need it. (I've been to many restrooms where the "ladies" sprinkled)

    If we want to dish it out to the guys - guess we better be prepared to get some of it back.

    :roll:

  18. #18
    Super Member lauriejo's Avatar
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    CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS. REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY JANUARY 25, 2008. NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

    Class 1
    How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays — Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
    Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours
    beginning at 7:00 PM.

    Class 2
    The Toilet Paper Roll — Does It Change Itself?
    Round Table Discussion.
    Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

    Class 3
    Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? —
    Group Practice.
    Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 4
    Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor — Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
    Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

    Class 5
    After Dinner Dishes — Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
    Examples on Video.
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

    Class 6
    Loss Of Identity — Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
    Help Line Support and Support Groups.
    Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

    Class 7
    Learning How To Find Things — Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
    Open Forum.
    Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

    Class 8
    Health Watch — Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
    Graphics and Audio Tapes.
    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 9
    Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost — Real Life Testimonials.
    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

    Class 10
    Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
    Driving Simulations.
    4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours.

    Class 11
    Learning to Live — Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
    Online Classes and role-playing.
    Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

    Class 12
    How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

    Class 13
    How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy — Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You’re Going To Be Late.
    Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 14
    The Stove/Oven — What It Is and How It Is Used
    Live Demonstration.
    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, locations to be determine.

    Upon completion of any of the above courses, Diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

  19. #19
    Super Member C.Cal Quilt Girl's Avatar
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    LOL do have to say these are both funny... but really does any one think the guys are going to a class on Monday (football) Saturday (most other sports) Friday you get my drift.... Guess any one can have a drip in the sink for years but if the cable goes out probibly on speed dial :)

  20. #20
    Super Member grammiepamie's Avatar
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    There is something genetically wrong with all men. One of these days, maybe not in our lifetime, a scientist or Doctor will discover this gene and remove it from each and every one of the male species, and then life will be more enjoyable. LOL LOL LOL LOL

  21. #21
    Super Member maine ladybug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ
    I think we could start our own classes . . . beginning with . . .

    How to release the TV remote control! [includes exercises for the hand to increase the flexibility needed for this task]
    And how about: Opening your eyes and moving things around in the refrigerator, before saying "It's not in there! ".

  22. #22
    Power Poster
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    Quote Originally Posted by maine ladybug
    Quote Originally Posted by DJ
    I think we could start our own classes . . . beginning with . . .

    How to release the TV remote control! [includes exercises for the hand to increase the flexibility needed for this task]
    And how about: Opening your eyes and moving things around in the refrigerator, before saying "It's not in there! ".
    It's me that has trouble finding things in the refrigerator :|

    DH falls asleep holding that TV remote control!

  23. #23
    Power Poster MadQuilter's Avatar
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    Since I am actually guilty of some of these, I do see how it may be irritating to thy partner. Hence I recommend adding another class, simply called "Deal with it!" lol

  24. #24
    Super Member Quiltforme's Avatar
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    NO kidding my husband has 3 wallets and a ring of keys that would be considered a weapon and I am supposed to carry this around!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ptquilts
    I want an adjunct to Class 4

    How much smaller could your purse be if you weren't carrying around all the junk your husband does not want to carry himself.

  25. #25
    Living the Dream's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by grammiepamie
    There is something genetically wrong with all men. One of these days, maybe not in our lifetime, a scientist or Doctor will discover this gene and remove it from each and every one of the male species, and then life will be more enjoyable. LOL LOL LOL LOL
    Scientists have discovered that there is only one thing wrong with men -- the Y chromosome.

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