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Thread: Funny from my MIL

  1. #1
    Super Member tesspug's Avatar
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    Funny from my MIL

    Something for seniors to do to keep those "aging" grey cells active!

    1. Johnny 's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May....What was the third child 's name?

    2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers....What does he weigh?

    3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, ...what was the highest mountain in the world?

    4. How much dirt is there in a hole ...that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?

    5. What word in the English Language ...is always spelled incorrectly?

    6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. ....How is this possible?

    7. In California , you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg....Why not?

    8. What was the President 's Name...in 1975?

    9. If you were running a race, ...and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?

    10. Which is correct to say,... "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?

    11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, ....how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?



    Here are the Answers
    1. Johnny 's mother had three children. The first child was named April The second child was named May. What was the third child 's name? Answer:Johnny of course
    2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh? Answer: Meat.

    3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world? Answer: Mt. Everest; it just wasn 't discovered yet. [ You 're not very good at this are you?]

    4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet? Answer: There is no dirt in a hole.

    5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly? Answer: Incorrectly
    6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possi ble? Answer: Billy lives in the Southern Hemisphere
    7. In California , you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not? Answer: You can 't take pictures with a wooden leg. You need a camera to take pictures.

    8. What was the President 's Name in 1975? Answer: Same as is it now - Barack Obama [Oh, come on ...]

    9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now? Answer: You would be in 2nd. Well, you passed the person in second place, not fi rst.

    10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"? Answer: Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow [Duh]

    11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field? Answer: One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big one.


    IMPOSSIBILITIES IN THE WORLD


    1) You can't count your hair.



    2) You can't wash your eyes with soap.




    3) You can't breathe through your nose when your tongue is out.




    Put your tongue back in your mouth, you silly person.




    Ten (10) Things I know about you.




    1) You are reading this.




    2) You are human.




    3) You can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips.




    4) You just attempted to do it.




    6) You are laughing at yourself.




    7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5.



    8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.



    9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone does it too.
    I promise not to buy any more fabric until I see something I really like. Or it's on sale. Or I think it might match something.

  2. #2
    Power Poster
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    Good ones!

  3. #3
    Junior Member Quilts rock's Avatar
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    This was fun! And... We got some of them right!

  4. #4
    Moderator QuiltnNan's Avatar
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    good ones!
    Nancy in western NY
    before you speak T.H.I.N.K.
    T is it True? H is it Helpful? I is it Inspiring? N is it Necessary? K is it Kind?


  5. #5
    Power Poster
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    .

  6. #6
    Super Member ube quilting's Avatar
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    Very funny
    peace
    no act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. Aesop

  7. #7
    Power Poster Jingle's Avatar
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    Very funny!!!!
    Another Phyllis
    This life is the only one you get - enjoy it before you lose it.

  8. #8
    Super Member klgls's Avatar
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    LOL - thanks for sharing!

  9. #9
    Super Member
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    thanks that was neat

  10. #10
    Power Poster solstice3's Avatar
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    yeah!!! I got most of them

  11. #11
    Super Member BuzzinBumble's Avatar
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    Clever and funny Tesspug! I got the wooden leg and the President's name in '75 wrong. And I stuck out my tongue and tried to breathe through my nose, LOL.

  12. #12
    Super Member Caswews's Avatar
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    Thanks for the laugh .. Sent those onto many of us with aging grey cells .. LOL
    When Life brings big winds of change that almost blows you over.Hang on tight and Believe.
    Words and hearts should be handled with care-for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair. Author unknown to me
    Do what you feel in your heart to be right; for you'll be criticized anyway-Eleanor Roosevelt

  13. #13
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    That was fun!

  14. #14
    Senior Member quiltmau's Avatar
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    very cute and an enjoyable exercise in logic!! I almost passed-LOL

  15. #15
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    WHAT A GREAT LAUGH---jeannedog

  16. #16
    Senior Member Suse's Avatar
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    thanks for posting this. it was fun!
    Susette
    http://fabricribbonandyarn.blogspot.com/

  17. #17
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    Sometimes you just need a good dose of wake up.

  18. #18
    Senior Member richardswife's Avatar
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    Lots of fun in the morning.

  19. #19
    Super Member luvstoquilt's Avatar
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    fun....thanks so much.
    "You must do the thing you think you cannot do"....E. Roosevelt

    Sharon
    Yorkville, IL

  20. #20
    Super Member RugosaB's Avatar
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    ever the rule breaker, I can breathe through my nose with my tongue out

    For me, it's very easy, I just thought everyone could. My throat just closes in the back. Come on, it can't be that weird
    You know that feeling when you've finished all your quilting projects and your studio is perfectly clean???? Me neither.

    It's not how fast you sew, it's how well you sew fast! Wait, I think that's supposed to be MOW!

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