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Thread: Hilarious letter to P&G

  1. #1
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    This is an "actual letter" from an Austin, Texas woman sent to Procter and Gamble regarding one of their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. This was PC Magazine's 2009 Editors' Choice award-winner for the best letter sent via e-mail.

    Dear Mr. Thatcher,

    I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts.

    But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

    Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.'

    Isn't the human body amazing?

    As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women.

    The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

    Are you kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

    For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong'.

    Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending horse apples. And that's a promise I will keep.

    Always,

    Wendi Aarons
    Austin, TX

  2. #2
    Super Member sahm4605's Avatar
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    that is way tooooo funny.

  3. #3
    Super Member ChubbyBunny's Avatar
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    ROFLOL!!! :lol:

  4. #4

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    Boy! do I remember those days That is so funny!

  5. #5
    Super Member C.Cal Quilt Girl's Avatar
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    ROFLOL... Just Guessing, were having one of those days !!:)

  6. #6
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    ROFLAO

  7. #7
    Super Member Butterflyblue's Avatar
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    "Put down the hammer"

    "Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong"

    I guess we all need those sorts of reminders sometimes...and at the right moment they could be very useful. :)

  8. #8
    Senior Member Rose Hall's Avatar
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    OMG!!!!!! I sooooooooo

    needed that! I am going to save this to reread whenever I'm having a bad day (almost every day! ugh.)

    Rose Hall

  9. #9
    Moderator Jim's Gem's Avatar
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    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

  10. #10
    Super Member CoventryUK's Avatar
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    Brilliant!! Will definitely save this one!! Thanks for sharing!!

  11. #11
    Power Poster Sadiemae's Avatar
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    That does not bring back pleasant memories. Thank goodness for surgeons!

    I could just imagine her with a hammer in front of his desk. & Vehicular homicide caused by Procter and Gamble's Mr. Thatcher's condescending remark to female on her first day of her period. He won't do that again.

  12. #12
    Senior Member DoxieMom's Avatar
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    Thanks for sharing this! Very, very funny!!!

  13. #13
    Super Member Lynnejean's Avatar
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    LOL!!

  14. #14
    Super Member Rebecca VLQ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Janette
    If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong'.
    This.

    OMG, I'm dying here!

    Awesome!

  15. #15
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    I'm I the only one that has this at the bottom of my screen
    an ad by google it says

    Anion Sanitary pads 3 pads for $14.99 (48 anion pads) Heavy and Mild Flow Menstrual Pads www.lady

  16. #16
    Super Member quiltsRfun's Avatar
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    This is hilarious. I always wondered about the "Have a happy period" tagline. Who came up with that one?

  17. #17
    Super Member mrspete's Avatar
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    mine has Always Infinity Pad........nervy huh? this is so hilarious. Thanks for sharing.

    Blessings,
    Ruth

  18. #18
    Super Member Chasing Hawk's Avatar
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    Thank you so much for the laugh, I needed it today.

  19. #19
    Super Member sewmuchmore's Avatar
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    :lol: :lol: :lol: I think she hit that one on the head. :wink:

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by quiltsRfun
    This is hilarious. I always wondered about the "Have a happy period" tagline. Who came up with that one?
    A man!

  21. #21
    Super Member quiltsRfun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by paintstoregirl
    Quote Originally Posted by quiltsRfun
    This is hilarious. I always wondered about the "Have a happy period" tagline. Who came up with that one?
    A man!
    Yeah, I guess that was pretty obvious.

  22. #22
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
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    I hope this is true. If it is I would love to have seen his face when he read it! :thumbup: :D

  23. #23
    Super Member SuziC's Avatar
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    LOL LOL LOL!

  24. #24
    pookie ookie's Avatar
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    lol Reminds me of one of my letters to Fedex.

  25. #25
    Moderator littlehud's Avatar
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    OMG, I'm falling off my chair. So funny.

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