I have a problem I need your "wise counselling" y'all.
#21
Super Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: North Texas
Posts: 1,283
Everyone has a different idea of what is necessary. Some people buy Starbucks several times a week and spend money while others wouldn't buy coffee from Starbucks. Others spend it on alcohol, cigarettes etc. Quilters like to spend money on beautiful fabric. Let her comments slide on by like water on a duck's back and have fun quilting.
mltquilt
mltquilt
#22
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: new hampshire
Posts: 1,550
if this is an ongoing thing with her I would silence it with MYOB. but if your encounters with her are few and far between brush it off. forget it.
Truly think she is jealous, and you wanted to go shopping for you, while you were at her house, she probably felt you were trying to entertain yourself cause she couldn't.
just a thought
Truly think she is jealous, and you wanted to go shopping for you, while you were at her house, she probably felt you were trying to entertain yourself cause she couldn't.
just a thought
#23
Super Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 4,392
It's hard for us to know how a MYOB statement would set with her. I think I would try to treat it with humor. "Oh, yes, you're probably right. I'm an addict. Ha ha. Could be worse, though. I don't do drugs . . . etc. It's my entertainment and therapy budget rolled into one . . . Are you ready to go to Walmart with me to look at fabric?" Smile!
#24
Originally Posted by DJ
It's hard for us to know how a MYOB statement would set with her. I think I would try to treat it with humor. "Oh, yes, you're probably right. I'm an addict. Ha ha. Could be worse, though. I don't do drugs . . . etc. It's my entertainment and therapy budget rolled into one . . . Are you ready to go to Walmart with me to look at fabric?" Smile!
#26
Super Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Orchard Park, NY (near Buffalo, which is near Niagara Falls)
Posts: 3,884
If your financial house is in order, than you are free to spend your money on whatever it is that brings you joy. Or to give it away however you see fit.
I have seen people who just can't seem to hold back from giving free advice - constantly! - and was so glad that those individuals were not members of my own family (where I wouldn't be able to escape their advice).
If by chance the money situation is tight for your brother and sister-in-law right now - even if they're not talking about it - that could cause your SIL to view your purchases through the lens of her own difficulty.
I would say that if money is tight for you, it's probably best not to ever mention that in front of your SIL.
I have seen people who just can't seem to hold back from giving free advice - constantly! - and was so glad that those individuals were not members of my own family (where I wouldn't be able to escape their advice).
If by chance the money situation is tight for your brother and sister-in-law right now - even if they're not talking about it - that could cause your SIL to view your purchases through the lens of her own difficulty.
I would say that if money is tight for you, it's probably best not to ever mention that in front of your SIL.
#28
Super Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Raleigh,NC
Posts: 1,962
Thats why I thought of taking her to the fabric stores or whatever to get her interested in something, she does like to crochet(me too) can't find any groups or clubs in the Clinton area for her to go and do things as well, yes their money is tight too, and mine is too.
ok I am going to thrift store today, and look for some stuff! thanks all of you ..... Mary
ok I am going to thrift store today, and look for some stuff! thanks all of you ..... Mary
#29
If your husband is supportive of your quilting then I wouldn't worry too much about it. My husband and I take care of the money together. My husband is supportive as long as all of the bills are paid. What we do is give ourselves an allowance each payday where we can spend our allowance the way we want. You can use that money for going out to breakfast with the girls or buying the material. (Just make sure your husband gets the exact same amount.)
The amount of the allowance doesn't matter...it depends on your financial situation. Even $5 a payday will give you the feeling that you can save and buy for the things you want to get. It is important for you and your husband to decide these things together. Then when your sister-in-law wants to make a big deal about it, you won't feel like you are doing something wrong.
By the way, I agree with the others that it isn't your sis-in-laws business.
The amount of the allowance doesn't matter...it depends on your financial situation. Even $5 a payday will give you the feeling that you can save and buy for the things you want to get. It is important for you and your husband to decide these things together. Then when your sister-in-law wants to make a big deal about it, you won't feel like you are doing something wrong.
By the way, I agree with the others that it isn't your sis-in-laws business.
#30
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Iowa
Posts: 8,816
Originally Posted by Jo Belmont
I think I'd say, "Gee, I'm sorry you feel that way. I guess I'll have to use that fabric for the gift I was gonna make you in something else. I wouldn't want to insult you. I didn't know it upset you so."
On the other hand, if you have borrowed money from them, pay it back before you buy anything else and say nothing more. We are always beholden to those from whom we borrow.
On the other hand, if you have borrowed money from them, pay it back before you buy anything else and say nothing more. We are always beholden to those from whom we borrow.
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