I just want to sew something
07-11-2011, 12:48 PM
#35
Junior Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: San Francisco Bay area
Posts: 223
It was the notation about your recently deceased mother that caught my eye.
My mother, my mother-in-law, my favorite uncle, my sister, my dear cousin, and my aunt all passed away between Feb. 2009 and April 2011. My sister passed away in WI 5 days before my son's wedding in CA. The Monday after my son's wedding, my husband, our other son, and I flew to WI for my sister's funeral.
Between Nov. of 2008 and Feb. of 2009 when my Mother passed away, I gathered items from both my Mother's house and my Mother-in-law's house (she was in a nursing home; would never be returning to her home), packed and shipped 24 boxes of items to my home in CA. As I unpacked everything, my dining room began to look as if I was organizing a garage sale.
That stuff sat there for months! My house was already full of my family's stuff (even after both sons moved out)that had accumulated during the nearly 30 years we'd lived there.
Whenever I walked by it, I would "fiddle" with some of it or sort some of it or just hold an item and remember...and then put it down.
I just couldn't figure out what to do with everything once it was at my house. There wasn't much of it that interested either of my sons.
I felt overwhelmed...where can I put this? Why can't I sort it out? I'm generally a pretty organized person, but that project had my stymied.
Sometimes, I just looked at, shed some tears, and again, remembered.
Compounding this was the reality that my husband and I were beginning to have what turned out to be major financial problems.
My sewing / quilting began to look like on of those closed-off rooms in an empty house. I, too, wanted to sew, but it was just too much to even try to focus on a project. Nothing interested me. I tried to force myself, but force didn't work.
When I finally realized and gave myself permission to recognize that my inertia, confusion, and frustration with myself was mourning and grief due to all the losses I'd experienced such a short time, I began to emerge from the fog. I had been holding it in and maintaining the "stiff upper lip" about it all.
I ultimately found a place for everything, am grateful to have the talismans of people and times that are important to me, and can "see daylight" again.
It sounds trite, but be patient with yourself. You've been wounded emotionally and going through your Mother's things reminds you of that. Take baby steps, treasure your memories (perhaps write them down), and know it's OK (and right) to mourn and grieve. Also, pray for yourself. You will be amazed at the relief that brings.
My mother, my mother-in-law, my favorite uncle, my sister, my dear cousin, and my aunt all passed away between Feb. 2009 and April 2011. My sister passed away in WI 5 days before my son's wedding in CA. The Monday after my son's wedding, my husband, our other son, and I flew to WI for my sister's funeral.
Between Nov. of 2008 and Feb. of 2009 when my Mother passed away, I gathered items from both my Mother's house and my Mother-in-law's house (she was in a nursing home; would never be returning to her home), packed and shipped 24 boxes of items to my home in CA. As I unpacked everything, my dining room began to look as if I was organizing a garage sale.
That stuff sat there for months! My house was already full of my family's stuff (even after both sons moved out)that had accumulated during the nearly 30 years we'd lived there.
Whenever I walked by it, I would "fiddle" with some of it or sort some of it or just hold an item and remember...and then put it down.
I just couldn't figure out what to do with everything once it was at my house. There wasn't much of it that interested either of my sons.
I felt overwhelmed...where can I put this? Why can't I sort it out? I'm generally a pretty organized person, but that project had my stymied.
Sometimes, I just looked at, shed some tears, and again, remembered.
Compounding this was the reality that my husband and I were beginning to have what turned out to be major financial problems.
My sewing / quilting began to look like on of those closed-off rooms in an empty house. I, too, wanted to sew, but it was just too much to even try to focus on a project. Nothing interested me. I tried to force myself, but force didn't work.
When I finally realized and gave myself permission to recognize that my inertia, confusion, and frustration with myself was mourning and grief due to all the losses I'd experienced such a short time, I began to emerge from the fog. I had been holding it in and maintaining the "stiff upper lip" about it all.
I ultimately found a place for everything, am grateful to have the talismans of people and times that are important to me, and can "see daylight" again.
It sounds trite, but be patient with yourself. You've been wounded emotionally and going through your Mother's things reminds you of that. Take baby steps, treasure your memories (perhaps write them down), and know it's OK (and right) to mourn and grieve. Also, pray for yourself. You will be amazed at the relief that brings.
07-11-2011, 05:01 PM
#37
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Colorado Springs
Posts: 7,583
I had days like that after my mother passed. When that happened I sewed, I found creating something even if it was a potholder was theraputic. I eventually go to all the other things that were waiting on me, but I felt better and more in the mood to tackle them.
Go easy on yourself, sometimes we just need a numb, no think, do nothing day to revive.
Go easy on yourself, sometimes we just need a numb, no think, do nothing day to revive.
07-11-2011, 06:43 PM
#40
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Appleton, WI
Posts: 738
Hang on, it will get better. I promise you that. I get so overwhelmed at times, and then I give up on the one thing that I love so much, my quilting. Please allow yourself at least an hour a day, to just do things for you and no one else. You deserve that. Eventually you will get all the pieces together with housework and quilting. Maybe make a schedule and stick by that for a while, and it will feel natural in no time.
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