I owe my Mother

Old 04-28-2011, 10:50 PM
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I Owe My Mother


1.. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.
I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION .
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the
middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC .
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not
going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT .
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY .
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA ..
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY .
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY .
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who
don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16.. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE .
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get
stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP .
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR .
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running
to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS .
"You're just like your father."

23.. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM .
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And my favorite:

25.. My mother taught me about JUSTICE .
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
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Old 04-28-2011, 11:15 PM
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I heard them all and I taught my kids the same thing....LOL LOL
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Old 04-28-2011, 11:43 PM
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Oh the memories...
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Old 04-28-2011, 11:52 PM
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They sure do fit, huh?
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Old 04-29-2011, 01:40 AM
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Oh my gosh, I sound like my mom too. Such wonder memories shared. LOl
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Old 04-29-2011, 02:07 AM
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Old 04-29-2011, 04:01 AM
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Both my daughters swore when teens that when THEY got married, they would never treat their kids like I do. That they would be charming friends to their kids!!! HA!

Fast forward to when they were married with kids. Each one, in turn, called and told me that when they opened their mouths to speak to their kids, MY voice came out, saying the very same things I'd said to them.

I just smiled.

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Old 04-29-2011, 05:03 AM
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I was told those things when I was growing up and now I say them to mine.
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Old 04-29-2011, 05:16 AM
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Too funny. I remember my DM saying a lot of these things.
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Old 04-29-2011, 05:22 AM
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The truth is, we all eventually turn into our mothers!
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