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Thread: Jane and Arlene .....funny

  1. #1
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
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    Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

    Arlene: What in the hell is that?

    Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

    Arlene: Where did you get it?

    Jane: You can get them at any drugstore.

    The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

    The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

    'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'
    The pharmacist fainted.

    here's lookin at you kid!
    Name:  Attachment-102953.jpe
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  2. #2
    Super Member hobo2000's Avatar
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    This reminds me the other night we were watching those two guys who try to survive in different locations. One pulled out a condom and filled it with about 2 ltrs. of water and hung it by a fire to boil. It will boil the water but not melt. Amazing! However, my 11 yr old DGD starts with the questions. How to gently explain..............not me, I called her Dad and turned that conversation over to him.

  3. #3
    2wheelwoman's Avatar
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    Too funny!

  4. #4
    Luckynumber7's Avatar
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    LMAO! Way too funny! Thanks for the laugh.

  5. #5
    Super Member Kooklabell's Avatar
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    That's a good one.

  6. #6
    Power Poster lynnie's Avatar
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    roflmao

  7. #7
    Moderator littlehud's Avatar
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    That's so funny.

  8. #8
    Super Member C.Cal Quilt Girl's Avatar
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    LOL ...:)

  9. #9
    Power Poster earthwalker's Avatar
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    :lol: :lol: :lol:

  10. #10
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    Thanks for the laugh,I needed that.

  11. #11
    Senior Member mawmawbeve_60's Avatar
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    lol

  12. #12
    Super Member SherriB's Avatar
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    That was hilariously funny! :mrgreen: :lol:

  13. #13
    Power Poster Mousie's Avatar
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    :lol: :lol: :lol:

  14. #14
    Power Poster CarrieAnne's Avatar
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    LOL!!!!!!!

  15. #15
    Super Member dphelps's Avatar
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    You know, I am your biggest fan. I love the way you make me laugh everytime you tell a joke.You are one in a million, Ditter.

  16. #16
    Super Member Gramof6's Avatar
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    ROFLOL I loved this one! LOL Thank You for the laugh.

  17. #17
    Super Member ljptexas's Avatar
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    That is s-o-o funny. I needed that laugh!!

    :thumbup: :thumbup:

  18. #18
    Super Member clem55's Avatar
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    LOved the joke, but likewise, the little story . A condom that holds 2 liters!! Isn"t that a little much???!!

  19. #19
    Moderator kathy's Avatar
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    :shock: I just snorted coke! .......a cola, you're gonna kill somebnody

  20. #20
    Super Member Juliebelle's Avatar
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    too funny

  21. #21
    Super Member pab58's Avatar
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    :lol: :lol: :lol: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

  22. #22
    Junior Member Ellie'sNana's Avatar
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    I don't know where you find these things, but my goodness, too funny. Thanks for the laughs.

  23. #23
    Senior Member sew_southern's Avatar
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    Another good one!! :lol::lol:

  24. #24
    Super Member grammiepamie's Avatar
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    Yea Ditter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Choice!!!!! Pam

  25. #25
    Super Member grammiepamie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by clem55
    LOved the joke, but likewise, the little story . A condom that holds 2 liters!! Isn"t that a little much???!!
    Must be one of those XXXXXXXL industrial condoms!!!!!!!! :shock:
    :shock:

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