Welcome to the Quilting Board!

Already a member? Login above
loginabove
OR
To post questions, help other quilters and reduce advertising (like the one on your left), join our quilting community. It's free!

Results 1 to 12 of 12

Thread: National tell a joke day

  1. #1
    Super Member ksea's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    3,635
    Blog Entries
    1
    Today is National Tell a Joke Day, I can't wait to see what some of you come up with.
    http://news.gather.com/viewArticle.a...81474979935442

  2. #2
    Senior Member Helovesme's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Cedar Park TX
    Posts
    757
    How do you catch a unique rabbit?

    Unique up on it.

    How do you catch a tame rabbit?

    Tame way, unique up on it.

  3. #3
    Super Member ksea's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    3,635
    Blog Entries
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by Helovesme
    How do you catch a unique rabbit?

    Unique up on it.

    How do you catch a tame rabbit?

    Tame way, unique up on it.
    Good one :lol: :lol: :lol:

  4. #4
    Super Member MinnieKat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    northern Minnesota
    Posts
    4,520
    Blog Entries
    3
    It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

  5. #5
    Super Member ptquilts's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Vermont
    Posts
    5,895
    most of my best jokes are not suitable for the QB....

  6. #6
    Power Poster alikat110's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Waco, Texas
    Posts
    15,217
    Blog Entries
    9
    Quote Originally Posted by ptquilts
    most of my best jokes are not suitable for the QB....
    Ditto!

  7. #7
    Super Member ptquilts's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Vermont
    Posts
    5,895
    Ok, found a clean one....



    A Minister was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age.

    The group had surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked "What are you doing with that dog?"

    One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog."

    Of course, the reverend was taken aback. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."

    There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, give him the dog."

  8. #8
    Senior Member Helovesme's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Cedar Park TX
    Posts
    757
    Quote Originally Posted by ptquilts
    Ok, found a clean one....



    A Minister was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age.

    The group had surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked "What are you doing with that dog?"

    One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog."

    Of course, the reverend was taken aback. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."

    There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, give him the dog."
    :thumbup:

  9. #9
    a regular here sisLH's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Waupun, Wisconsin
    Posts
    556
    Husband: "Honey, we've been married 40 yrs and have a huge house and all of life's finest things. But I kind of miss that 10" tv and the wild 23 yr old woman I slept on the couch with".
    Wife: "Well, ind a wild 23 yr old and I'll make sure you're back to sleeping on a couch and watching a 10" tv.

  10. #10
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    SE Iowa
    Posts
    1,539
    good one!

  11. #11
    Super Member Quiltbeagle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    1,197
    Where do you find a no-legged dog?

    Right where you left him!

    -----

    What's the difference between Corn Nuts and deer nuts?

    Corn Nuts are usually more than a dollar...deer nuts are always under a buck!

  12. #12
    Super Member Carron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    desert area of California
    Posts
    2,267
    A married couple were out working in their yard when the husband bent over to scoop up some leaves.

    At the precise moment the wife ran over to him and kicked him on his fanny.

    Naturally he went face first down into the pile of feaves.

    As he was getting up and brushing the debri from his clothing he looks at her and asked "What was that for?".

    The wife looks him in the eyes and states...
    "That's for being a lousy lover!" and with that she turns and walks away.

    A short time later the husband looks at his wife as she is bending over placing some flowers into the prepaired soil and instantly he runs over to her and kicks her on her fanny. Of course she goes face first into the dirt.

    As the wife was slowly getting up and brushing off the dirt from her clothing she inquired rather loudly..."What was that for?".

    The husband looks her in the eyes and comments....

    "That's for knowing the difference!"

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

SEO by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.