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Thread: Pensioner's reply in Coles shop.

  1. #1
    Senior Member Elfi2's Avatar
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    Cool Pensioner's reply in Coles shop.

    Pensioner's reply in Coles shop.

    Didn't like shopping there anyway. Yesterday I was at my local Coles
    Store buying a large bag of Chum dog food for my loyal pet and was
    In the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog..

    What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have
    Little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was
    Starting the Chum Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t,
    Because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 2 stone before I
    Woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices
    And IVs in both arms.

    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
    It works is to load your pockets with Chum nuggets and simply eat
    One or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally
    Complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to
    Mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with
    My story.)

    Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
    Food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff at
    Something on the road and a car hit me.

    I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
    Laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Coles. Better watch what you
    Ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of
    Daft things to say.....

    Hope this is not going to get me into trouble again.....
    Elfi
    Your mind is a garden, your thoughts are the seeds....you can grow flowers or you can grow weeds!!!

    The things you do for yourself are gone when you’re gone, but the things you do for others remain as your legacy. ~ Kalu Kalu

  2. #2
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    No response - I'm laughing too hard!!

  3. #3
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    I love, love, love you! You're just like me and I'm not retired yet. Just think what I might be when I am retired and have more time.
    Families are like quilts, lives pieced together, stitched with smiles and tears, colored with memory and bound by love.

  4. #4
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    Loved this!!! I have always enjoyed, "Ask a stupid question... get a stupid answer". Thanks for making my day.

  5. #5
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    Ditto.... People just don't think.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bobbielinks View Post
    No response - I'm laughing too hard!!

  6. #6
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    Oh my gosh, wish I could have seen their faces!! Love it!!

  7. #7
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    Wish I could have seen their faces. ROFL

  8. #8
    Super Member Abby'smom's Avatar
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    thank you for the laugh; I really needed that!!
    diane

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    Sorry, I'm not laughing! Couldn't you have just said what kind of dog you had? Maybe that's what she really meant to ask. Nothing like humiliating some one. Maybe it'll be me getting kicked off the board. I believe she was just being friendly.

  10. #10
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    I think this was a joke. I've heard this before.

  11. #11
    Super Member Jan in VA's Avatar
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    Of course this was a joke, it's been around for years with more "American" English and names. Still cute as the dickens, though!

    When I leave a similar situation I always kick myself for not thinking of such a creative, fun response. It reminds me of Bill Engvall's "Here's yer sign" jokes! Now that's funny no matter who you are.

    Jan in VA
    Jan in VA
    Living in the foothills
    peacefully colors my world.
    http://www.quiltingboard.com/members...bums19552.html

  12. #12
    Super Member Quilty-Louise's Avatar
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    I was laughing so hard my hubs and all 3 cats came into the room
    to check up on me.

    When hubs asked what got me going this time I couldn't talk so I
    copy & pasted to word than printed it for him.

    He is now sitting in the bedroom laughing just as hard as I am.
    Louise - Ya-ya to Zachary April 13 2015. I collect mugs from the U.S. and around the world. Also collect handmade pincushions, sewing/quilting themed fabrics, and fabric in general.

  13. #13
    Super Member Kooklabell's Avatar
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    It was a great story to begin with, but when you added that you were hit by a car when trying to sniff something on the road, well that's just tops. Thank you for the laugh, I so needed it.
    Kookie (Patti)

  14. #14
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    I really needed a laugh and you provided - Great one

  15. #15
    Senior Member Elfi2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Misty's Mom View Post
    I think this was a joke. I've heard this before.
    Exactly, that's what it was!!! Life is just too dreary sometimes, so jokes lighten it up!!!
    Elfi
    Your mind is a garden, your thoughts are the seeds....you can grow flowers or you can grow weeds!!!

    The things you do for yourself are gone when you’re gone, but the things you do for others remain as your legacy. ~ Kalu Kalu

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    That is so funny, I to have done the same sort of thing only with VIP dog sausage. It is normally with my checkout friend and it is to do with what is for tonights dinner. Certainly makes people wonder. We Queenslanders do like a joke.
    Are you getting much rain at present?

  17. #17
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    Loved it. We all need a good laugh.
    Love to quilt and play with the great grandkids

  18. #18
    Power Poster lynnie's Avatar
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    I love it, had to read it to my dh, said that's the type of thing i'd say. tooo funny!!!!
    put off till tomorrow what you can do today, and if you procrastinate long enough, you may never have to do it.

  19. #19
    Senior Member Elfi2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NannaL View Post
    That is so funny, I to have done the same sort of thing only with VIP dog sausage. It is normally with my checkout friend and it is to do with what is for tonights dinner. Certainly makes people wonder. We Queenslanders do like a joke.
    Are you getting much rain at present?
    Yes, I've got a whacky sense of humor, I sort of can vividly imagine the situation!!! Not so long ago I was telling a guy from church who was waiting for a script at the chemist that I hadn't forgotten to ask my son about that special beer he brews to get 2 bottles filled for him and his partner asked him "but you're not going to drink that?" to which I replied "no, he's going to wash his feet with it, it's supposed to be really good". She looked at me in horror and said "you're not serious are you???" Me "what do you think....I'm always serious!!!"

    Yes, we did get quite a bit of rain, thank you Lord!!! It filled our dams again and the water tanks and with the bit of sun we're getting now, the warmth makes the grass stick out it's nose again....we had nothing left, just dirt
    Last edited by Elfi2; 03-29-2014 at 08:24 PM. Reason: Forgot to add something
    Elfi
    Your mind is a garden, your thoughts are the seeds....you can grow flowers or you can grow weeds!!!

    The things you do for yourself are gone when you’re gone, but the things you do for others remain as your legacy. ~ Kalu Kalu

  20. #20
    pal
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    My Mom was in the supermarket and the checker asked her if she wanted a box. "Wannabox?"

    She replied "why? I'm not mad at you." Life is great - go for the laugh!
    PACE - Positive Attitude Changes Everything

    "All things are literally better, lovlier, and more beloved for the imperfections that reflect the human effort that went into their making."

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Misty's Mom View Post
    I think this was a joke. I've heard this before.
    I also have heard this before with different stores being used. I still laugh every time I read it!

  22. #22
    Super Member rosiewell's Avatar
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    too funny, reminds me when a sales lady was trying to convince me to buy a much more expensive face cream than the one I wanted claiming that it would keep my skin looking younger, I replied that I was 80 years old and my face was looking young enough. (I was 60 at that time)

  23. #23
    Super Member caspharm's Avatar
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    Very funny! Thanks for the laugh. I read it to DH and he laughed, too.

  24. #24
    Super Member Caswews's Avatar
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    OHMYGOODNESS !!!!!!!!!!!! laughing so hard the DH had to come in .. He had to walk away he is laughing so hard !! OH my .. THANKS the belly-side hurting laugh !!! LOVED IT !!!

    :0)~~
    When Life brings big winds of change that almost blows you over.Hang on tight and Believe.
    Words and hearts should be handled with care-for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair. Author unknown to me
    Do what you feel in your heart to be right; for you'll be criticized anyway-Eleanor Roosevelt

  25. #25
    Power Poster ube quilting's Avatar
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    Love it!
    peace
    no act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. Aesop

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