1. Can you cry under water?

2. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

3. Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'.... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

4. Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

5. Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

6. What disease did cured ham actually have?

7. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

8. Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

9. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

10. Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

11. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

12. Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway...

13. Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

14. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

15. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

16. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

17. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

18. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

19. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

20. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

21. Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

22. Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

23. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

24. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face,he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

25. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

26. Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

27. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

28. Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

29. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

30. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

31. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

32. Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

33. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

34. Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

35. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

36. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

37. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner,
then reach down, pick it up, examine it,then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

38. Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

39. How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

40. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'

41. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

42. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

43. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

44. The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

45. If the plural of goose is geese why isn't the plural of moose meese?

46. If the plural of mouse is mice why isn't the plural of house hice?

Those r cute! I realized. I do sleep like a baby!! Don't sleep longer than 1 1/2 -2 hrs at a time!!

The Tarzan one is the best.
(Its like the woman in "Dances with Wolves"- if she was living with the native Americans for so long, how come her hair was cut into layers when Kevin Costner found her?)

Too Funny!

Some of these are too true to be funny! I loved them.

:lol: :lol:

Love em!
42. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
I keep trying to explain this to DH who want the house at 88 while I am having hot flashes. (we have wood heat).

Sleep like a baby....I think that one wasn't about how long but how sound....you know how when a baby is out....they are limp as a rag

But these are great!

Those are good one. Thanks for the laughs.

LOL

LOLOL...Yes I was humming the ABC song :-D

thanks for those questions/observations. i have answers for quite a few, but i think i will just keep quiet at the risk of sounding ludicrous...LOL...thanks for sharing...

Here's another one for you, wool shrinks when you wash it, why don't sheep shrink in the rain?

This was hilarious!!! Thanks for sharing :D

Still ROF LOL--especially over the thoughts of "baby oil"

LOL

Thanks for the laugh!!! :-D

Too funny and yes! I wish I had the answers to those "deep" questions!

And I've always wondered...why do we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway???

#3, taxes, of course.

These were wonderful and we all got a laugh.

I enjoyed this list very much. I good LOL is just the way to start the morning. THANKS!!

LOL Good ones!

If a cow chokes while drinking, does milk come out of its nose?

Why do we drive on a parkway, but park on a driveway?

Oh, bummer. Somebody already got that one.

Cute
I have one to add -
Where do the deer go during the day?
NormaBeth

Here, they sleep in my fresh mulch under the dogwood tree and munch on my "deer resistant" plants.

My best friend and I have always called more than one blouse "blice"! We are both pretty goofy!

Yep..have to admit it. I sang the songs... :oops:

really enjoyed those thanks..........

Oh Thanks! It feels so good to laugh!

To cute! Did laugh--alot, and I am passing this along.

very funny... thanks for the laugh... I really needed it right now... and since I feel so good from laughing, I'm going to bed! G'night!!

These are so funny and so true. I've done the string on the carpet thing.

#36 I just did that and the fridge has the same stuff it did 5 minutes ago- Wheres the Fridge Faeries when you need them??

Thanks!

Thanks for the laughs. some of these were belly laughs.These were great.

We had so much fun with this but one son thought this should be added to the list:
"Why is there Braille on the drive-up ATM machine?"

Thanks for a good laugh.

I wonder a lot about Braille signage - how do the blind people know where to touch to read them?

so funny!

Great laugh! I'm sending this to a few friends!

CUTE!!!