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-   -   Cat Commandments (https://www.quiltingboard.com/general-chit-chat-non-quilting-talk-f7/cat-commandments-t100927.html)

moonwork42029 02-18-2011 01:47 PM

>^''^< Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard
when thy human is on the puter.

>^''^< Thou shalt not pull the phone cord
out of the back of the modem.

>^"^< Thou shalt not unroll all of
the toilet paper off the roll.

>^"^< Fast as thou art, thou cannot
run through closed doors.

>^''^< Thou shalt not projectile vomit from
the top of the refrigerator.

>^"^< Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or
act as thou art not transparent.

>^"^< Thou shalt not push open the bathroom
door when there are guests in the house.

>^"^< Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party
and commence licking thy butt.

>^"^< Thou shalt not lie down with thy
butt in thy human's face.

>^"^< Thou shalt not leap from great heights
onto thy human's lap region.

>^"^< Thou shalt not re-set thy human's
alarm clock by walking on it.

>^"^< Thou shalt not climb on the trash can with the
hinged lid, as thou wilt fall in and trap thy self.

>^"^< Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet seat
just as thy human is sitting down.

>^"^< Thou shalt not jump onto thy
sleeping human's bladder at 3 a.m.

>^"^< Thou shalt realize that the house is not
a prison from which to escape
at every opportunity.

>^"^< Thou shalt not trip thy human even
if they walketh too slowly.

>^"^< Thou shalt remember that thou are a
carnivore and that houseplants are not meat.

>^"^< Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded.

Think your fur baby will abide by these?
When it snows in h..... maybe... but hey it was worth a shot

sueisallaboutquilts 02-18-2011 01:48 PM

Lotsa luck! My 5 have broken every single one hahahaha

sewwhat85 02-18-2011 01:53 PM

ha ha ha

quiltlonger 02-18-2011 02:01 PM

Oh, my Boxers can do everything except get on top of fridge* but I do miss a cats purr!

redkimba 02-18-2011 02:03 PM

Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or act as thou art not transparent.

**change this one to monitor and that is EXACTLY what mine breaks.

RatherB Quilting 02-18-2011 02:15 PM

I think all cats read those as "thou SHALT..." In fact, my cat thinks they are all cardinal rules for cat-dom! Especially "Thou SHALT try to trip thy human at all opportunities, especially when thine human is in a hurry!"

CarrieAnne 02-18-2011 02:19 PM

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!

vic 02-18-2011 03:43 PM

my two are way ahead and have rewritten them!!!!!!!!

Ramona Byrd 02-19-2011 12:19 AM

To this you can add....Thou shall not, ever, jump into your human's dropped drawers when s/he is on the john. Thou shall not use claws on anything in that area.

Don't ask me how I know this.

I remember hearing DH scream in the bathroom and Zabo, the black demon half Siamese running low and fast through the door to get out of the firing zone!!

Corky 02-19-2011 12:25 AM

Thou shalt not go into the cabinet under the sink upstairs, slide down the laundry chute and get stuck all day.

Corky 02-19-2011 12:27 AM

Especially when thy human is in a hurry to get to the bathroom!!


Originally Posted by RatherB Quilting
I think all cats read those as "thou SHALT..." In fact, my cat thinks they are all cardinal rules for cat-dom! Especially "Thou SHALT try to trip thy human at all opportunities, especially when thine human is in a hurry!"


magpiefeather 02-19-2011 03:32 AM

What a good laugh! I saw this on a card somewhere...."If you stare at the door long enough...it will open"

Sue Fors 02-19-2011 04:26 AM

Love it!

moonwork42029 02-19-2011 07:43 AM


Originally Posted by Ramona Byrd
To this you can add....Thou shall not, ever, jump into your human's dropped drawers when s/he is on the john. Thou shall not use claws on anything in that area.

Don't ask me how I know this.

I remember hearing DH scream in the bathroom and Zabo, the black demon half Siamese running low and fast through the door to get out of the firing zone!!

OH my... that is too funny. I have a picture of my DH (much to his chagrin) with one of the kittens sitting in his while he was "reading".


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