With the Holidays coming,wondered how many of us have had a cooking disaster.Speaking of the Holidays reminds me of my sis in laws turkey for Thanksgiving.Bro stands at head of table to carve & pulls out a yucky bag with the innards still in it. Kind of spoiled our appetites :-)

Then there was a time when I was making lemon meringue pie while also visiting with un expected company.Was so glad they'd left before the pie was done, cause I'd left out the corn starch & had crust with lemonade in it.Had to toss it ...no pie :oops:

I have a cute story about my mom. She comes from a large family and is the oldest. Her father, my grandfather, used to love her baking. Well, one day she made a beautiful chocolate cake. She was so proud of that cake!! Grandpa was a coal miner who worked hard every day of his life and really appreciated my mom's yummy desserts. After dinner that evening, she cut him a nice big piece of chocolate cake. He took a big bite, started chewing, and my mom said he had a "funny look" on his face. He asked her what she had used to make her cake. She said, "Why, chocolate and eggs and flour and sugar." He then asked her if she was sure she had used sugar. She said, "Of course I used sugar." Well, come to find out she hadn't used sugar--she had used salt!!!! :lol: :lol: She's never made that mistake again!!!! She loves to tell that story.

not really cooking, but...
DH used to have breakfast started when I got up in the morning. He would pour me a glass of OJ, and if we were having eggs he would separate them so he got mostly whites and I got the yolks. You guessed it, one sleepy morning I reached for my glass of OJ and on tasting it discovered it was egg yolks. YUCK!!!

Oh, oh!!! I have another story about Mom!! When she and my father were first married, she wanted to surprise him by making him one of his his favorite desserts. It was for Fried Pies and was what my grandmother (his mother) used to make. My mom asked my grandma how she made them. Grandma told her how, and Mom worked so hard to replicate those little pies. Dinner was over and my dad asked my mom what was for dessert. She said, "I made a surprise!" She went in and got him one of those nice, fresh and still warm Fried Pies. He was so surprised that his new bride had made it for him. He took a bite and told her how yummy the crust was. He took another bite and another bite and another bite and then looked at the pie. He said, "Honey, what did you put inside the pies?" She said she hadn't put anything inside them and that my grandma hadn't told her to put anything inside them. :lol: :lol: :lol: Grandma had only given her the recipe for the crust and just assumed that Mom would know to put in a filling!! Mom and never eaten one of Grandma's Fried Pies, and Mom made only "regular" pies and made cakes. Grandma absolutely LOVED my mom and didn't do it on purpose. She felt just terrible about it because she knew Mom had worked so hard on those little pies. To this day my dad will tell that story! BTW: Mom and Dad divorced almost 30 years ago. Mom went on to make many, many more Fried Pies. Each time she made them she was sure to include a filling!!! :lol: :lol:

My SIL and her family came over one year and they first needed to shower because a tree root had made their bathrooms unusable. She was really bummed and kept looking at her watch. I asked what that was about (we were waiting for her husband to come by later) but she said she was waiting for noon so she could have a glass of wine. I told her it was Thanksgiving and we could start giving thanks to the God of the grape anytime she wanted. OMG we got shnookered and sort of forgot to cook the rest of the dinner. Her husband (a real butt-head) was not amused. I couldn't stop laughing.

Bout the worse disaster I had at the holidays was the year I caught the oven on fire. I had made candied sweet potatoes. Being in a last minute rush, I just dumped the marsh mellows on top and closed the oven. I was finishing up the last minute preparations when we smelled the smoke. When I opened the oven the marsh mellows were on fire. Of course Mom grabbed the camera and caught me bending over the oven door and the fire. She still drags out the picture, and has to remind me of the fire every year she spends the holidays with me.

A Story about Thanksgiving...

Once a lady named Pat decided to cook a huge turkey for her new families' Thanksgiving. She had bought the biggest turkey she could find, put it in the oven, and during the prep time for pies, she discovered that she had forgotten a vital part of the desserts so hurried to the store to get it.

While she was gone, her loving hubby had downed a few too many and thought of a brilliant trick to play on her, so he took out the stuffing and restuffed it with a Cornish hen. He closed it back up and put it back in the oven and looked innocent when she got back.

During the carving of the turkey in front of all the family and inlaws, dear Hubby pulled out the Cornish hen instead of a bunch of sage stuffing, and the wife's mother started crying and said screamed out "Patricia, you've killed and cooked a pregnant Mother turkey" and continued crying, in spite of being told turkeys do not get pregnant!!
(yup, she was blonde)

[quote=momymom]Bout the worse disaster I had at the holidays was the year I caught the oven on fire. I had made candied sweet potatoes. Being in a last minute rush, I just dumped the marsh mellows on top and closed the oven. I was finishing up the last minute preparations when we smelled the smoke. When I opened the oven the marsh mellows were on fire.
--------------------------------------------------
This must be the most often burned food ever. My dear daughter-in-law did this and was she embarrassed!! She and my son are
part time chefs and do a lot of cooking for groups.

As for myself, I am usually a good cook, BUT for whatever reason, I simply can not cook beans without burning them, and I can not make good German Potato Salad. When it's my turn to bring them, my friends gently suggest that I get them at Save Mart.

Then there was the year we went home for Christmas. DH's family had decided to have dinner at my BIL's house. My Mil said she would make the turkey. Normally I make the turkey. I've had to many dried out birds over the years. Everyone pitched in for the meal. Upon arrival my MIL took me aside and told me the following. She had taken a FROZEN 20 + lb turkey, but it in the oven the night before and baked it for 24 hours. I don't know if she knew how dangerous that was. I descretely told every one not to eat it. My MIL couldn't understand why no one wanted the leftover bird. It had been carved, so she didn't realize no one had eaten any. Luckily my BIL had bought a honey ham, so we did have meat for the meal. I was horrified!!! I never let her cook the bird again!!! Always told her it was my job.

Cooked the turkey 24 hours?

Okay, here is the gold medal for worst dinner. I'm handing it to you from California!

Did anyone ever let her know this in later years? I'll bet she was mortified if they did.

We never told her why no one wanted her turkey. She thought it was perfectly safe to eat. She died a few years ago, never knowing the truth.

Mine wasn't so much a cooking a disaster but a disaster all the same..it was Christmas Day, there were quite a few of us, I had had to work,had prepared all the food and it was cooking slowly in the oven, I came in early afternooon, took the meat out and thought I would have a glass of wine and relax a moment while the veg was cooking. My hubby was supposed to be looking after the dog, he forgot!!!the dog got into the kitchen and ate all the meat,Luckily I had previously cooked a ham for Boxing Day so we had that instead. it has never been forgotten by any of us.

Promise you won't tell my two sisters, but one Thanksgiving when we were all still living with our parents I took the turkey out of the oven and promptly dropped in on the floor. Nobody saw it, everybody ate it, and as long as you don't tell they'll never know.

When I was a newlywed Navy wife, my husband invited an officer and his wife (a nutritionist) to dinner. We had a very tiny little kitchen. I had a beautiful Ragu pot roast simmering on the stove, a pot of noodles cooking and a lovely salad standing by. The officer's wife was admiring my canister and I went to show her the rest of the set which was over the stove. The one full of popcorn hit the range hood as I was bringing it down and popcorn kernals landed in all the food! It was quite embarassing to sit across from these people with the noise of chew, chew, crunch. I'm surprised no one broke a tooth!

Embarrassing. On the first Thanksgiving that I cooked a turkey, I did the same thing, left the small package of stuff in the turkey. Imagine my surprise when ny DH cut the turkey and pulled it out! We all had a good laughand enjoyed our dinner. Now that my daughter cooks the meal, she called last year and asked "Am I supposed to take the bag out of the turkey?" Like mother, like daughter!

Not exactly my mistake, but I thought I would share. I eat regularly at a local Indian restaurant and really like spiced tea. They had a rather young and inexperienced waiter who made me my favourite spiced tea but didn't know he had to put tea in the pot. I got spiced water. After a conversation resembling "The Emperor's New Clothes" fairy tale, we had a good laugh and I got my spiced tea. His English has improved a lot and I've learned the relevant phrases as well.

This isn't a cooking disaster but I'll tell it anyway. Carol liked to make blueberry wine to have on special days. She would let the wine work in the bottles. One Christmas, her friend came for a meal and brought along a couple that Carol had never met. Carol decided to open a bottle of the blueberry wine. Well, long story short, the cork popped suddenly and wine sprayed into the air hitting the ceiling, and falling onto the white tablecloth, all over the food and over everyone's clothes. Carol was mortified, mainly because of the 'strangers'. But they were good sports and everyone had a good laugh. Carol said later that she never could get all the wine off the textured ceiling.

Both of my Grand parents were blind; My Grandmother from birth.. One time at a family gathering My Grandmother was making Shrimp Creole; My Grndfather did all the shopping, and labeled all the cans in braile... there was one large can that didn't have a label... when we sat down to eat, there they were.... sliced peaches in the creole!!!!!!! LOL!!! My Grandmother was mortified! but, it's a great memory for me.

Not living near family, we invited others without nearby family to come have Thanksgiving dinner with us. My BIL came this particular year to be with us. My husband built a smoker to smoke the turkey, but we always finished it on the regular charcoal grill. The grill was old and not very stable, so we had a wire securing it to a metal rail on the patio. One time that we checked it, the leg gave way under the wieght of the turky. The turkey rolled off and across the patio! We {most of us} laughed so hard! Since the skin was too smokey to eat anyway, we just removed it and ate it anyway. No worse for wear! We still smoke turkeys {and chickens} around Thanksgiving time, but have a much nicer smoker. My BIL bought us a brand new Weber grill before he left that year and we were very thankful.

Our holiday cooking disaster was the Christmas morning we thought the house was on fire. We planned to cook a very large turkey that we had raised, but it wouldn't fit into my roasting pan. So on Christmas eve my husband tucked it into two baking bags, one from each end, and set it on a cookie sheet. We put the turkey in the oven and set the timer to start baking at about 5 a.m. We were awakened around 7 a.m. to the smoke alarm and a house full of thick smoke. It was terrifying! But thankfully the house wasn't on fire. The turkey was baking just fine, but the juices cooking out of it had overflowed the cookie sheet and were spilling onto the heating element, causing lots of smoke. We had to open the windows and doors and turn on fans to get the smoke out. We sat around our Christmas tree, opening our presents with heavy sweaters on and blankets wrapped around us, drinking lots of hot chocolate to stay warm. It was a Christmas we'll never forget!

I did something similar only this was for my parents 25th wedding anniversary party. My GF and I decided to make a tiered cake from scratch. We had to make the recipe twice and left the baking powder out both times. The cake had a great flavor but was like chewing rubber. :oops:

Isn't this a rite of passage? Newly married, I called my mother for directions to cook a chicken. She didn't say to removed that bag of innards, so I didn't. I know now though. I think I told my daughter to be sure to take out that bag.

When I was very young and newly married my MIL asked me to make a pot of beans!! Having no inkling on how to do this and a great desire to please, I asked for directions. Was told only to make sure the beans were always covered with water, cook slowly and beans take a lot of salt.
Having never cooked anything more than opening a can and heating it on the stove, I moved forward with all the confidence of youth! Checked every 15-20 minutes to make sure the beans were still covered and added some salt every time I had to add water.
Now, the words 'some' and 'a lot' are not really good measuring terms.................so by the time the beans got tender I had put in nearly a half of a box of salt!!
MIL to rescue....peel and put a couple of potatoes in with the beans and they will soak up the salt!! It would have taken a 20# bag of potatoes to suck up all that salt!!!!
I never heard the end of that...until the divorce!!!!

During WWII as the story was told, turkey feed was so scarce , poultry farmers fed fish meal to them. The whole bird tasted like fish. !

oh that is hilarious

I am the notorious bad cook in my family! Due to just two incidents but they were pretty bad. For my birthday one year, I asked the entire family over for dinner. My friend and I were cooking everything. Well I had pinto beans in the pressure cooker and asked my friend to turn them down. We resumed peeling potatoes when, you probably guessed!, the relief valve exploded, beans and bean juice were doing their impression of Old Faithful and we were trying to get close enough to pull the pot off the stove and throw a hand towel over the top to contain as much as we could. Thirty minutes later when everyone started to arrive, we were still cleaning bean juice off the ceiling and trying to clean up and had totally forgotten about the rest of the meal. We wound up having hamburgers from Sonic. Do you have any idea how slippery a tile floor is with hot bean juice all over it? (by the way, we figured out that my friend had turned the heat up instead of down)

Second incident: The Thanksgiving after my mother passed away, the entire clan was gathering at my brother's house for dinner (about 40 people). Well I had my mother's food processor - and had never used one before. I made a ton of cole slaw in just minutes. Well you have to have some onions don't you? So I made a ton of diced onions-way too many for the cole slaw so decided why not include some in my deviled eggs (3 dozen). While we were at the table, I noticed no one was eating any deviled eggs except me. When I mentioned it, my mother's best friend said, "Well, I'll certainly eat one!" She took one bite and spit it back into her napkin and exclaimed, "My word child what on earth did you do to these eggs?" Everyone rolled and since then, I am not allowed to bring deviled eggs to family gatherings. (I love onions in everything but have to admit they were a bit overwhelming!) Also haven't used a food processor since!

I did the same thing when I was first married!

One of my farmers' market customers once bought rhubarb chard, then came back the next week complaining that it made the worst pie they had ever tasted!She was really offended cause I laughed till I cried---- so did the sellers at the tables next to us!

When I was a newlywed back in the 60s I thought I'd surprise my husband with his favorite snack....homemade brownies. So I bought all the ingredients listed in my brand new Betty Crocker cookbook and I thought I'd followed the directions perfectly. Our trailer smelled so good as it was baking. I took them out of the oven, let them cool, then tried to get them out of the pan. They were like cement. Just then I heard my husband's car pull in so I threw the pan of brownies up in the back of a cupboard. He came in and smelled the chocolate and kept asking where the brownies were. I said he was crazy. I hadn't made any. Months went by and I'd forgotten all about the brownies being in the cupboard. Finally we could afford to move out of the trailer and guess what he found? The brownies looked fresh...no mold or anything, maybe a little dusty. He never let me live that down.

MY First thanksgiving cooking for my in laws. SO so so so nervous I served pumkin pie my MIL was very nice but she said I have never had pumkin pie with a crust on to . (My first pie ever) Now I know no crust on top

Years ago Nan wanted to make tomato sauce, but didn't didn't think she had enough salt. Came across the street and asked mum if she could borrow 1 POUND of salt. Mum questioned her,but no,that is how much she needed. Mum gave her the salt. The sauce was made. It was as salty as Lot's wife! She brought it over for the chooks. Fortunately dad only gave them half a bottle, but it still killed 2 chooks.

Instead of 1 POUND of salt it should have been 1 OUNCE!

After that, Pop always made sue that HE made the tomato sauce.


(Chooks = Hens and roosters)

The uncle of an acquaintance was a long-haul trucker and he had a tiny little Chihuahua that accompanied him on his travels. The dog lived in his shirt pocket and was his little buddy. Well, the dog got sick and died. Heartbroken, they wanted to have the dog cremated but they didn't have the money. So they wrapped him up in plastic bags and stuck him in the freezer. Fast forward to the family holiday get-together. Everyone was there and getting ready to set the table when my friend's mother opened the freezer door and was face to face with a bug-eyed frozen dog. She screamed, everyone piled into the kitchen and nobody ate dinner. lol

We had too many tomatoes from the garden, My husband suggested we make spaghetti sauce. We used the canning pot, a lot of sauce. I added the seasonings, let it simmered and went to work outside. His family makes the spiciest sauce, they called it Diabolo, so he added more spices, especially red pepper. I came back in the kitchen and figured that I should add more spices. no one could eat that sauce.

Another one about my son, the part time chef.

He had read about fried turkeys, so decided that Thanksgiving would be a good time to cook one. He got a nice small turkey, parboiled it and then took it out to put in the bubbling pan of oil over a good fire. One thing is, he forgot to measure the difference between the mass of the turkey plus the amount of boiling fat in the pot. He lowered it into the fat, fat overflowed and started on fire. Huge, old pine tree above caught on fire...

They told me that having several real nice fire fighters for Thanksgiving dinner was quite a good thing since they helped "clean up" some of the other, unburned foods, which were delicious and did not taste like they had been cooked at the local land fill. The turkey itself was not edible.

lol! probably happens more than anyone thinks ;-)

OH MY Goodness! Great Halloween story ;-)

Ok! OK! You all made me laugh so hard I had to run for the loo! I guess I should 'fess up. Years ago, while dating a nice man I had recently met, I invited him to dinner. I planned to fix Swedish Meatballs over Rice, and a vegetable. Before I go any further, I should tell you that I had never had a 'drink' up to this time. I had dinner on, and just had to make the rice, when he arrived. As he walked in the door, he held up a bag and said, 'I brought some beer for us!" Well I didn't want to be a party pooper, so I had a beer. Then I had another. NEVER get the cook drunk! When I went to serve dinner, The sauce had curdled and the rice was crunchy! I was sure glad I had the vegetables, cause that was all we could eat! The funny part is he married me anyway!

We tried to make homemade pumpkin pie from scratch once. Baked the pumpkin then spooned it in the blender in batches. Mom got distracted and left in the spoon. Glass and pumpkin flew all over the kitchen.

Mother in law lived on a farm. Put lunch in the pressure cooker and went outside for a few minutes. Heard a bang and rushed inside. Vent on the pressure cooker had become blocked and lunch was all over the ceiling. Years later you could still see the marks - even though the ceiling had been repainted.