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How is it nice when our answer to "Will she like it?" is not based on knowledge?
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Thumper's mother taught him: "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nuffin' at all."
When asked a specific question on the Board such as "Which border works better?" an honest opinion is in order. When a picture of a completed project is shared sincere, positive comments are in order. If you feel it resembles roadkill, follow Thumper's rule. It takes courage to post a picture and "Will so-and-so like it?" really means "Do you like it?" The quiltmaker is aware we cannot predict other's opinions. |
Originally Posted by TanyaL
(Post 4896195)
We so often ask if someone (a relative, a friend, a stranger) will like a ___________________ (fill in with whatever interests you - a bow tuck bag, a quilt, etc., this color, this pattern, etc.)
Then we answer "Oh, the person will LOVE that!" When none of us knows that person, knows what they like or what kind of person they are. How can we assume a person is going to like a pink and green and puce bag or a purple and brown quilt? OR that a new mother wants a pink quilt for a new baby girl, or doesn't want a blue quilt for new baby boy? Why do we assume that if a fellow quilter made it for someone, that someone will love it? I don't think life always supports that assumption. Why do we have so little faith in ourselves that we ask strangers to make a judgment call on what others strangers (to them) are going to like? Why don't we just say "I've made this as a gift and I hope the person likes it. Do any of you like it? Will any of you admit you don't like it?" Maybe then our answers wouldn't sound like a mutual admiration society meeting of possible dim wits. |
I see things that I think are beautiful that I would never buy for myself.
I receive gift items that I think are beautful but would never buy for myself. I have never received a gift that someone gave to me or lovingly made especially for me that I did not love if only because it was made and/or given with love. There is beauty in most things, sometimes we just need to look a little harder to find it. And, just because a person doesn't like it doesn't mean it's ugly to everyone. It's human nature to want to get positive feedback on what we do and it doesn't matter if it's from family, friends or strangers. We just like to hear it. I was raised to say nothing at all if I couldn't say something nice. That's how I still live today. |
The majority of us are our own worst critics....hence the need for others approbation. Many feel awkward when posting their work and find it hard to use the right words....they just need a little boost so they can give their gift to that special person without feeling it is a "catalogue of faults". I recently made a quilt for my eldest step-son's cat....anyone would have thought the wretched thing was destined for Houston, the attention I gave it! All because I wanted it to be "perfect" for a young man who is very dear to me. Anyway....that's my take on it.
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I guess I never really thought about it until now, but I've never asked that question of someone unless I KNOW they know the recipient better than I do. For instance, I'll ask my MIL what colors my SIL would like in a quilt, because she knows her daughter better than I do. But I'd never ask a sales person that question. However, I WOULD ask a sales person or a stranger if this color looks better than that color, etc.
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Here is something to think about. Next time read how many replies are compared to how many have veiwed it. That should tell you that some people have no comment and others really like it. In my case if there are to many responses I don't bother with my thought.
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Originally Posted by Greenheron
(Post 4904468)
Thumper's mother taught him: "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nuffin' at all."
When asked a specific question on the Board such as "Which border works better?" an honest opinion is in order. When a picture of a completed project is shared sincere, positive comments are in order. If you feel it resembles roadkill, follow Thumper's rule. It takes courage to post a picture and "Will so-and-so like it?" really means "Do you like it?" The quiltmaker is aware we cannot predict other's opinions. And this line of thought about question and answer has nothing to do with posting pictures of our work when we AREN'T asking the question "Will so-and-so like this?" This is about a specific situation involving opinions about strangers's preferences, not our opinions about someone's work.Of course we support our efforts in quilting. That is not what we are discussing here. |
Don't sweat the small stuff. We are all proud of our quilts whether someone else likes them or not. But if you are a quilter you will want to share and get other peoples opinions. You can share yours or not.
I do understand what you are saying, but who really cares , we are not in school and have no quilting police on here. We are just wanting to share our work and excitement. |
I understand exactly what you are saying about our feelings about our quiltings. I just don't understand the psychology of asking an opinion about a stranger's preferences, or our willingness to assume what a stranger's preferences are. Guess I need to research some psychology texts for the answer since y'all don't seem to know why we do what we do. It really has nothing to do with quilting, I guess. However, human behavior is not "small stuff."
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